I am guessing that liability still is yours.

and once again -even if you feel ok about guns, it is does not mean you want one in the house.

And even if you are ok with a gun in the house- i'm assuming there would be a few disscusion with CJ before you got it.

Man, Suzi, I don't know how I'd deal with that if I were you. At the very least, it just shows a massive lack of forethought on their part.

Steph, how are you doing?

I'm okay. Now that work is all finished, I'm 95% less anxiety-wracked. Because it's done, you know? Nothing more to anticipate. I still worry about finding a new job, but it seems that most of my debilitating anxiety was from waiting for the end of my job.

I'm still concerned about being shafted on severance, but I'm oddly more or less at peace with that, because I have zero control over what they decide to give us.

Things keep breaking ever since my last day -- $900 to replace the a/c compressor in my car, my cell phone is breaking (literally, the case is cracked and falling apart; I don't remember dropping it, but obviously I did, and the lesson here is maybe don't buy the cheapest dumbphone Cincinnati Bell has to offer) -- and that's stressful, because I need to keep expenses down, but I can't really do anything about that. Except get an indestructible cell phone.

I feel like I need to be going at full speed to have a new job by next week. But what I really need is a little bit of downtime. And I feel guilty about that. So I keep making lists of things to fill my day with. And it's only Day 2. I just don't want Tim to realize, with less than 2 months to go to the wedding, that he doesn't want to marry a lazy, shiftless, unemployable deadbeat.

And, I guess, I don't want my worst fear to be confirmed, which is that I *am* a lazy, shiftless, unemployable deadbeat. Which makes it hard to let myself have a little downtime to decompress.

I feel like I need to be going at full speed to have a new job by next week

I don't know how to break it to you, Tep, but the job market has changed a bit in the last 18 years. So...it's gonna take a little while. I'd advise doing a little freelance between now and the wedding while job hunting as a side gig.

the job market has changed a bit in the last 18 years.

Noooooo!

Look, I realize I'm NOT going to have a new job by next week (chief among the reasons is that I don't even have my resume together). I'm just saying how my lizard brain is making me feel about it. Two different things.

Take some time to decompress. When you're ready, we'll get your resume and cover up to speed. No worries.

Schedule the down time.

I don't know what your usual schedule is - -but I can say that friday and Saturday - bad days to look at craig's list.

Do those one or two things that niggle in the back of you mind ( go to the gym more often , clean out that closet, explore new ways to cook) Things that you will not be able to do when you go back to work - but will be things that are taking care of your self and positive.

Start tellng yourself stories- so when you you walk into an interiew you have answers to those questions - when did have a coflict with a co-worker and how did you solve it? how did you deal with a difficult client? what do like about working with a team? what is the worst thing about you last job....

and when you decide on down time - Say - I need an hour at least , but I might need more...in an hour I will decide...

But mostly I am glad to hear that the worst of the anxiety has passed.

Beth gives great advice.

I actually have 3 lists going (the theory being that I will do at least one thing from each one every day): (1) shit to get myself employed; (2) shit that needs finished for the wedding; (3) adequate self-care.

I am coming up woefully short on the list for #3. Partly because "walking the dog/going to the gym/doing yoga" is on my list of non-negotiable stuff, like brushing and flossing. [Edit: what I mean by "self-care," I guess, is more than baseline stuff of eating fruits and veggies and personal hygiene, etc. Stuff like...go read a book on the front porch. Or go to the neighborhood pool for a couple of hours, since it is summer.] But I am lousy at self-care, because my jerkbrain tells me that it's self-indulgent bullshit that I don't deserve.

I totally have to clean out my closet and dressers, though. And -- holy crap -- the bookshelves. (I also have a list of stuff that needs to be cleaned, which is basically the whole house. Stupid baseboards. How do they get so dirty? I don't mean dust; I mean actual filth. I am looking at you, Kato.)

Hah--whereas my first thought was "don't do too good a job on those to-do lists lest he get liking the idea of a stay-at-home wife!"

"don't do too good a job on those to-do lists lest he get liking the idea of a stay-at-home wife!"

If we could live on just his salary, I would not be in a hurry to get a job. Totally true.