At least I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow. I hope your day goes better than anticipated, Hil.

Connie, I hear you: as heartbreaking as it was to lose both my parents quickly in the space of three years, it could have been so much worse. "It's always sudden" is not without its blessings.

I'm sorry, Hil. Much general coping~ma to you; I'll be thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow.

Love, fist-bumps of solidarity, virtual mimosas, and lots of good vibes to folks who need or want 'em. Take your pick, there's plenty.

I got some exciting news today, namely that the organization I volunteer for could put together a disability rights action team.Which would be terrific, in terms of putting our stuff right in with the progressive agenda, where it belongs(despite a certain amount of confusion/unpleasantness with union members regarding deinstitutionalization and whatnot...I still believe that there must be a way to balance it out and satisfy many needs on both sides, although if I knew how for sure, I'd be writing in a better office, you know?) But, right now, I don't even know how to build an advocacy team either.I watch stuff and write about it or make up shit and hope people pay me for it. And I've turned out be a good soldier for a draft-dodging peace freak. But it's so totally exciting to ask about disability stuff and have someone say "Okay," even if it's "Okay, if..." which this still is. Usually, though, I'd fill out some survey and watch all my ideas go Away, and this is not that. If my supervisor wasn't gay, I think I'd make out with him right now(as it is, he';s probably still lucky I work remotely lest twenty years of misplaced passion hit him full-bore and shit.)

My grandpa died watching television...he was a huge man and not a great patient, ie score one for it's always sudden, although I think the tragedy of his life was he was such a natural for the internet and he missed it. He would have been bigger than "Shit my Dad Says" imo.

We all really are just going through these life stages together, aren't we, buffistas? I dunno how much I talked about this here, but I am in Indianapolis Right Now helping my folks move to Dallas so my sister can help them out as they age. And since they're all packed up, I'm staying at the SO's mom's place. And I was here a year ago planning a funeral, so it's kinda hard, but I'm really glad I'm here. Both my mom and his just seem to need to vent right now, and that's something I can do,

Plus I will go to the optometrist and get my hair cut and make a Japanese grocery store run and a Trader Joes run and an Ulta run. So I will be busy. But good.

Packers come tomorrow. Movers come Monday and I pick up my sister from the airport. They're closing on the house on Tuesday morning and will depart immediately afterwards. My sister is driving them in their car down to Dallas.

And I will be rushing home to make rehearsal, because my new band is making its debut gig a week from tomorrow!

I hope the team come together, erika. It sounds like it could be really useful.

~ma to all the Buffistas going through the unfun life transitions. I was a bit worried that my dad would get Altzheimer's since his mother did. I won't say lymphoma was a pleasant alternative, but he was so scared of dulpicating grandma's cognitive decline, I'm glad he didn't have to experience that. One of my best friends is watching her mother go through Altzheimer's. Her mother is in a nursing home, but there seems to be a lot that has to happen from the outside to make sure proper care is given. Said friend is around 60 herself, childless, and wondering who would do this for her if/when she needs it. I've decided to work with denial as my primary coping method.

This is super timely: one of my sisters-in-law just sent an email this morning to Tim, his brothers, my other SiL, and me -- they had been on a waiting list for the Council on Aging to come and evaluate Tim's dad for eligibility for the services they provide (which include: lifeline button he could push for emergencies, meals delivered daily or once a week delivery for the whole week, domestic housekeeper/companion services, and a medicine box that dispenses meds according to a timer--it beeps and if the medicine isn’t taken, it contacts a family member).

The Council on Aging contacted her and they can evaluate Tim's dad next week. This is very good. Their goal is to keep seniors in their homes as long as possible, and some of the services above (especially the companion service) will make it possible AND will make us worry a lot less.

That sounds really helpful, Steph.

I mean, I think a retirement community would be better for him, for a number of reasons. A big one has nothing to do with his dementia -- he's just so isolated out at his house, and he's very gregarious and extroverted. Living in a community would be so great for him, because he really needs the social aspect.

But if we can get the Council on Aging services in place, this gives us time to find a good retirement community. I know there are waiting lists for a lot of them.

That's so awesome Teppy I'm glad that he'll get an evaluation.

Personally I think that Grandma E would do better in a retirement community, she lives with my aunt and peole do come over and watch her BUT she's still really isolated and she's very social. And she likes to help people and do things. I think if she were in that situation she could be social when she wanted and then not be and also find ways to be helpful.

For example for the longest time she was THE designated driver for her friends who couldn't drive (for whatever reason). The Senior version of a designated driver. So she took people to appointments and/or lunch or things like that.

But Grandma has been adamant that she doesn't want to and my aunt wants her to stay with her but I think it's getting close to the time where Grandma just won't be safe because she can't remember things.