That sounds really helpful, Steph.

I mean, I think a retirement community would be better for him, for a number of reasons. A big one has nothing to do with his dementia -- he's just so isolated out at his house, and he's very gregarious and extroverted. Living in a community would be so great for him, because he really needs the social aspect.

But if we can get the Council on Aging services in place, this gives us time to find a good retirement community. I know there are waiting lists for a lot of them.

That's so awesome Teppy I'm glad that he'll get an evaluation.

Personally I think that Grandma E would do better in a retirement community, she lives with my aunt and peole do come over and watch her BUT she's still really isolated and she's very social. And she likes to help people and do things. I think if she were in that situation she could be social when she wanted and then not be and also find ways to be helpful.

For example for the longest time she was THE designated driver for her friends who couldn't drive (for whatever reason). The Senior version of a designated driver. So she took people to appointments and/or lunch or things like that.

But Grandma has been adamant that she doesn't want to and my aunt wants her to stay with her but I think it's getting close to the time where Grandma just won't be safe because she can't remember things.

Packers come tomorrow.

I literally went "no, that's Sunday" in my head. Dork.

My dad is probably going to have to move soon, which is a good thing, but will be an incredible ordeal. The house he lives in is being sold, so he'll probably need to be out in a couple of months. He has so much crap I can't even, plus he's really let things get super run down and gross. Not like TV hoarders, but his vision isn't that great and keeps the lights dim, so he doesn't really notice spills or things that are dusty and dirty.

Other than that he's still really cruising along, but now in his late 70s and has had a couple of minor strokes. Heart attacks too, but those were a long time ago and he's actually in better shape. But as much as I hate to think about it, things could change at any time and I don't know that we're really prepared at all.

Yeah, my grandmother could have moved into a retirement community adjacent to the care facility where my grandfather was, but she would not leave her house, and any attempt to convince her to do so ended in tears.

she would not leave her house, and any attempt to convince her to do so ended in tears.

Tim's dad is adamant he doesn't want to leave his house, and I think part of it is that changing his routine and surroundings will be jarring and scary and disorienting for him. Part of it is a sense of loyalty to Tim's mom. Apparently they built that house, way back in the woods away from neighbors, because Tim's mom wanted it. It was her dream, not Tim's dad's dream. But he couldn't deny her anything. He loved living in a suburban subdivision with neighbors super close who he could grill out with, have a beer on the porch with, etc. So he feels like leaving that house is betraying Tim's mom's memory.

He has so much crap I can't even, plus he's really let things get super run down and gross. Not like TV hoarders, but his vision isn't that great and keeps the lights dim, so he doesn't really notice spills or things that are dusty and dirty.

Yeah, my grandmother could have moved into a retirement community adjacent to the care facility where my grandfather was, but she would not leave her house, and any attempt to convince her to do so ended in tears.

Both these apply to my parents

My mom is absolutely certain that she does not want to go into any kind of facility when she gets older -- she wants to stay in her house, and that's final. But she's been making plans -- the house is pretty accessible to begin with, since it's a 1950s ranch with a fairly open floor plan, but as she's needed to replace old furniture or flooring or do any renovations, it's all been done with an eye toward "Let's make this so that it will work with a wheelchair or a hospital bed or anything else that might be needed."

I made it through my morning classes OK. I was able to teach sitting down about half the time. Still hurting by the end, and I kind of snapped at one of my students, which I probably wouldn't have done if I wasn't in pain, but he was also kind of being a brat, so I don't feel too bad about it. (He was trying to "schedule" an "appointment" to see me with, "How late will you be here? I'll stop in sometime before then?" and after I'd told him several times that he needed to give me a specific time if he wanted me to be in my office, and he kept repeating that he'd stop by "later" with a form that he needed me to sign that absolutely had to be signed today, I got a bit sarcastic with him.)

See, I guess I'm enough of an extrovert that I would totally move into a retirement community when I'm old. People all the time! Otherwise I'd be lonely if I had trouble leaving the house. Though probably by that point the Internet will be jacked into our brains, right? No one will leave the house because we will all be virtual?

I'm not exactly sure what my mom's issue with a retirement community would be. She's got some friends who live in The Villages in Florida, and she loves visiting them, and she talks all the time about how she's lonely at home all day, when my dad is at work. But when we've gone to visit some relatives in a nursing home -- a really nice nursing home, where each resident has her own suite of rooms with a bedroom and living room and small kitchen, and there's a really pretty communal dining room and library, and, if you didn't notice the wheelchairs and the nurses and stuff, you'd think it was just some kind of community center or something -- she insists that she does not want to go to a place like that.