I'm sorry you feel so alone, askye. I wish that there were an easy fix for that feeling, but I'm afraid that the Platitude Police would have a serious case against me if I say much of what is popping into my head right now.

Yeah, erika, you get deal breakers.

It's not like I have many, but it still seems like a lot for someone with an "AS IS" sticker on her forehead. But I've also seen other women talk themselves into these horrible clown-show relationships(My college roommate married and divorced the same idiot twice before she could give up) because they don't want to be alone.

because they don't want to be alone.

At my first job, I had a divorced co-worker who married her ex-husband because she was 23 and truly believed he was her only chance at getting married (even though she knew it was a bad idea at the time).

Even at the age of 22 I knew that was a damn shame. It's sad that people fall into the trap of thinking that a shitty spouse is better than no spouse. I understand how it can happen, but it's still sad.

I was 24 when I met Hubby. In Utah, especially in the 80s, the society gives women "so old" a very sad look. A lot of women my age had a desperate look in their eyes. Which wasn't as bad as the women my age dragging around toddlers while pregnant with the next one. Nothing in their eyes. They horrify me.

ltc didn't wake up this hour to feed. Dare I try to sleep?

Erika, I am a firm believer in not settling.

I know my mother feels like she put a ring on it too fast both times. But maybe her example has made me hold back too much.(And it's hard to know...I've missed a lot. Not that I wrote that in my profile, because even when I'm not thinking like a detective or a risk-assessment person being too open about that feels like writing "Hi! I'll make out with you, even when you steal my PIN, because I am defective and sad.(And, yes, I know that girl, too) Once you get out of your early teens, though, nobody is there to make sure that the crippled girl keeps up.(Summer camp, yes. Getting dry-humped, no)ETA: Although if crip-dating programs were as full of bull as the transition to work programs that lied to me and told me lack of paid experience was NBD and talking about my disability in a work context would be easy if I took the right light-hearted approach, maybe I'm better off anyway. But if I don't say anything...well, I'm just not like an average woman in her forties, assuming there is such a being.(Plus side: Not needing to get child support from an ass who got rich once he was out of my life.)

Kind of catchy. I can only imagine that when Ryan undertakes his desert spirit quest, he will be informed, "Cheekiness is your gift."

And his spirit animal will be the echidna, right?

Ryan stories continue to be the best.

~ma and hugs to all who need them. I've been reading along, but my brain cannot retain much information at the moment.

Mom is taking ltc for a walk, and I'm going to attempt to take a shower while they're gone.

Finished my first week of classes. Now I'm sleepy. Kind of want to sleep all weekend, but I can't, because I need to prep stuff for next week.

I'm in denial that one of the classes I'm teaching starts next Friday. I think I have another week before the other one starts, and some meetings are starting at the third school I teach at. Thankfully I'm only teaching Winter and Spring quarters at the fourth campus.