So, are you saying it's too early for me to feel this unprepared?

I'm saying you are exactly the right amount of unprepared.

Promise? It's normal to feel completely unprepared at this point in pregnancy, right?

Feeling unprepared comes with the territory. You're doing fine.

Thanks, everyone. I've been getting a lot of strange looks from people (strangers) when I mention my pregnancy, like they're surprised and they aren't sure whether they should be congratulating me or apologizing to me. I'm assuming it's a disability thing because I'm quite obviously very pregnant at this point, but it's making me uncomfortable and probably more insecure about everything than I should be.

eirka, you aren't wrong about Deray. That man has some serious discipline.

Whereas I accidentally clicked post on a tweet I'd meant to delete. It was one of the snarky ones - I usually read 'em to Daniel then delete and reform a more rational reply. As snark goes, it'll hardly flay the target alive. But Daniel said, "Don't worry about it. No one will notice. It's just the internet." Isn't that like saying "What could go wrong?"

I made it through almost 2 hours of my 4 hour shift and had to come home because of anxiety.

I'm pretty sure I know why. And it's a combination of factors that I'll have to deal with. Well one I won't they redid our store and it was a mess and disorganized in the back and that was an issue and I'm hot. If work in the warehouse I have to figure out something to keep cool.

I feel like I failed. I also feel like I did this on purpose to prove to my therapist I 'm not ready for 3 days of work even though she suggested it and didn't push it.

I wish I had skills to do some job with minimal interaction with people.

Why do places put contact forms on their websites if they don't actually use them? There are two moving companies that have "Click here for a free quote" things on their websites, and you click there and put in your name and contact information and other stuff, and I did both of them on Monday, and neither got back to me. I just called one of them, and they seemed to have no idea that their website even had a page that did that.

Because they used a prepackaged template and have no idea what the fuck they're actually doing.

Oh askye, I'm sorry today was so rough.

I think I need a new therapist. I have a tiny list of therapists that do DBT I just have to call.

And I avoided answering a call from Mom because I dont' want to deal with that either. It's not important or she would have called back.

I like my therapist but I think I need a different approach.

Also have to maek an appointment for cleaning iwth dentist.

Yeah, I literally don't know how he does it. You know what doesn't help, when you're beginning to feel like you've been chasing all the wrong things for years? Your mother telling you "of course, you've had a life! What do you mean when you say you haven't?" It's like her telling you that she's your valentine. Sigh. Really thinking about not sending out my writing anymore...I thought I'd get better and/or stop fearing rejection, but each time it's worse(I even thought "Okay, I'll risk a certain number of rejections and then I'll buy myself something extravagant." But I don't want anything. Not as much as I wanted to see something great with my byline on it.