My house is depression dirty; I'm a sick person dirty; and I pulled out all this stuff to get rid of but then ran out of spoons messy, with an added side of having a dog who produces enough fur to make a new dog every month.

Today is the first day of a chemo holiday proposed by my oncologist. The proper response to that is "Yay?" I feel like I should be taking all the poison all the time, but with Stage 4, the goal is stable disease. I'm looking forward to enjoying food again, but I've kind of liked the weight loss side effect. This will at least answer the question of how much of my anemia is due to the chemo. Maybe I can go longer between transfusions. A girl can dream.

I was just trying to decide what to wear to the theater tonight and decided I'd be happy if all my clothes disappeared and I could start over.

My house is a disaster at the moment, and I'm starting to have OMG I'm bringing a baby into this house panic. And at the same time I don't have much energy to do anything about it.

Can someone remind me to not ever run out of all the things again? It's too fucking exhausting to drag all the things into the house. I went to Trader Joe's today, and I forgot to look for the beet hummus.

Our house is dirty enough that one of Matilda's playmates companions shamefully noted it.

"You guys have a really messy house! You should clean it up."

My apartment is currently only dysphoria dirty, not depression dirty.

Man, I'd like to get back to dysphoria dirty.

with an added side of having a dog who produces enough fur to make a new dog every month.

LOVE our pets, but I want to shave them. SO MUCH.

Our house is dirty enough that one of Matilda's playmates companions shamefully noted it.

This is why we don't have people over. Friends of ours recently bought a house only 4 doors down, and we haven't had them over (but we did take them out to dinner, because we aren't total jerks).

flea has seen our house once, when it was straightened up for company, and even then I have no doubt the overall impression was So! Much! Stuff! (although we did vacuum up the pet hair).

"You guys have a really messy house! You should clean it up."

It would be a long time before said child would be allowed back into my home.

I don't entertain nearly as often as I would like to because of the mess. We have thessaly and Victor over every once in a while after a whirlwind clean up and knowing they're not the judgmental type.

with an added side of having a dog who produces enough fur to make a new dog every month.

Three shedding little beasts. Everything I own is covered with a fine layer of dust and cat hair. I brush the fluffier ones but they just make more. The cat hair bothers me much less than the disorganized mess I make myself, though.

I prefer my surroundings to be in good order, but living with people, pets, and time constraints, often makes that difficult, or impossible. Thing is, my mother and sisters are pretty much disorganized messes, so I am used to it and it doesn't bother me all that much. If I am on my own, then stuff is in order. If I am in a caring mood I will keep up after the guys and dog, if not then it can wait until I do care. Spoons are limited and sometimes often a book or tv show are more important.

"You guys have a really messy house! You should clean it up."

I've had kids say things like that! I can't even remember my exact response now, but I was amused not upset.

Truly DH#2 cured me of being such a neatnik. (thank you dear one) When we first lived together we would BATTLE over his slovenliness. He would want to dash out to the beach and I would say that I just had to do the dishes first, commence battle. His argument was storm waves, only a couple hours left of light, dishes will still be there later but the opportunity to surf would not. I no longer remember what my argument was because I was clearly wrongheaded. (thank you again dear)

My apartment is reasonably uncluttered right now, but that's because I spent all of last week working on it, because my landlord wants it to be neat when she's showing it to potential new tenants. It did literally take me a week to clean it, though. And it's still not what anyone would call "neat" -- it's just presentable.