I do what I can to solve the issue, and if there is nothing I can do I watch SciFi, read books, go to the beach. Anger, frustration, jealousy, there are a bunch of emotions I just don't do because they don't serve me any purpose.

Now of course I will likely stroke out before I turn 60 (in February!!!) from suppressing all these emotions, but I don't really see how I could change this core part of my nature any more than DH could change his. His response to every single thing ever that happens is that it is the worst thing in the world, let's be frantic, and loud! And wants me to get excited too. I roll my eyes, fix it if possible, and go for a swim if it isn't.

This is me. And oddly, this is also H.

I will admit to, earlier in my life, being one of those "every possible scenario" thinkers. I mentally rehearsed my reaction to practically every possibility, just so I'd "be ready." But as I got older and things continued to fall where they might--or not--I finally learned that worrying, by itself, doesn't change or affect anything. I haven't actually turned it off, it's still simmering in the background. I'm still running scenarios. But now I more easily distract myself and give my subconscious permission to freak and try to prepare without my conscious involvement. Somehow, it works, most of the time.

I will admit to, earlier in my life, being one of those "every possible scenario" thinkers. I mentally rehearsed my reaction to practically every possibility, just so I'd "be ready."

At any single point in my life considering "every possible scenario" would not have yielded what actually ended up happening. Worrying or planning wouldn't have changed anything I really just have to go with the flow. What is in store for me in 5 years. Not a single clue. So I'll just deal with today. Or more likely the next few minutes.

I've learned to catch myself when I'm cycling up, ask the question is there anything I can do about it right now. If the answer is yes, then I pick one or two things and do them and try to move on. If the answer is no, then I have to find a hard distraction - loud music, sleep, punching something.

I didn't used to be able to do that. I can honestly say it has come as I've gotten older.

Right now I'm trying not to freak about my cousin (who I'm very close to - see beep me for details) cause there isn't a damn thing I can do to help. So I'm trolling the internet, getting ready for the All Star game and I'm ready to pull out the whiskey and trying to have that distract me.

Tons of good cardiac-ma to your cousin, Suzi.

In the category of Shit I Couldn't Make Up: the air conditioner in my car decided today would be a good day to die. Perfect timing, what with the mid-90s temps all week and my imminent loss of income.

I just fucking give up.

Thanks Teppy. Last I heard, she is getting an angiogram to determine if the next step is a stent or a bypass.

~ma for your cousin, Suzi.

Tep, I hear you. And I'm sorry. Sending you coping~ma.

In the category of Shit I Couldn't Make Up

Oh my! Why did the universe decide you just didn't have enough to deal with? Wishing you quick and cheap fix~ma.

Heart~ma for your cousin, Suzi.

Angiogram done and 3 stints inserted. But she just tore the sheath from where the did the angiogram so now they are working to fix that.

I'm going to send a care package tomorrow. A boa for her IV pole (hospital tradition started by my mom), Chapstick, unscented lotion, crazy socks, and a bell to summon her hubby once she is home. Any other ideas that might bring a smile to a post heart attack person?

Tell her the story of my husband, who has survived double digit heart attacks and single-handedly raised the survival rate for our county. He has 4 stents and is still chugging along.

Suzi, so much ~ma for your cousin. I love the idea of the boa for the IV pole!

Teppy, I'm sorry to hear about your car AC. Why do cars seem to have a 6th sense for when we don't have the money to fix them, and then break? Evil money suckers.

I had all the sleep last night and didn't leave any for tonight. Silly me. Also I'm fairly certain that I am still not pregnant, so I need to suck it up and make a follow up appointment with the fertility doctor tomorrow. Please no one tell me stories about someone they know having triplets between now and then.