I've learned to catch myself when I'm cycling up, ask the question is there anything I can do about it right now. If the answer is yes, then I pick one or two things and do them and try to move on. If the answer is no, then I have to find a hard distraction - loud music, sleep, punching something.

I didn't used to be able to do that. I can honestly say it has come as I've gotten older.

Right now I'm trying not to freak about my cousin (who I'm very close to - see beep me for details) cause there isn't a damn thing I can do to help. So I'm trolling the internet, getting ready for the All Star game and I'm ready to pull out the whiskey and trying to have that distract me.

Tons of good cardiac-ma to your cousin, Suzi.

In the category of Shit I Couldn't Make Up: the air conditioner in my car decided today would be a good day to die. Perfect timing, what with the mid-90s temps all week and my imminent loss of income.

I just fucking give up.

Thanks Teppy. Last I heard, she is getting an angiogram to determine if the next step is a stent or a bypass.

~ma for your cousin, Suzi.

Tep, I hear you. And I'm sorry. Sending you coping~ma.

In the category of Shit I Couldn't Make Up

Oh my! Why did the universe decide you just didn't have enough to deal with? Wishing you quick and cheap fix~ma.

Heart~ma for your cousin, Suzi.

Angiogram done and 3 stints inserted. But she just tore the sheath from where the did the angiogram so now they are working to fix that.

I'm going to send a care package tomorrow. A boa for her IV pole (hospital tradition started by my mom), Chapstick, unscented lotion, crazy socks, and a bell to summon her hubby once she is home. Any other ideas that might bring a smile to a post heart attack person?

Tell her the story of my husband, who has survived double digit heart attacks and single-handedly raised the survival rate for our county. He has 4 stents and is still chugging along.

Suzi, so much ~ma for your cousin. I love the idea of the boa for the IV pole!

Teppy, I'm sorry to hear about your car AC. Why do cars seem to have a 6th sense for when we don't have the money to fix them, and then break? Evil money suckers.

I had all the sleep last night and didn't leave any for tonight. Silly me. Also I'm fairly certain that I am still not pregnant, so I need to suck it up and make a follow up appointment with the fertility doctor tomorrow. Please no one tell me stories about someone they know having triplets between now and then.

Maybe it might just need a freon charge? I'm sorry Teppy.

Much ~ma for your cousin, Suzi.

but not play them in my head as an endless anxiety loop.

I would love to learn how not to do this. Sometimes I can stop myself, but others... well.. I just can't.

Speaking of, I got some really crappy news tonight and it's taking a good bit to not go down that anxiety loop. Don't want to get into detail just yet, but looks like another family member has cancer. Not sure how bad it is as tests are still inconclusive, so trying not to borrow trouble.