{{{askye}}} I really hope that in the long run this is going to be good for you, but it definitely sounds overwhelming in the short term.

My post-lunch numbers were back down to normal. I have had my afternoon snack, and now I am going to take a nap because I have also had my afternoon crying jag which also seems to be part of my new routine.

askye, this feels like it's really necessary for you right now. You're working on getting better. Focus on that and let your mom or someone else deal with the insurance and payment wrangling. Remember, you didn't run away, even when you wanted to. That's a victory right there.

{{askye}} What Maria said. Even if everything feels out of control, it's only a feeling; you actually have taken good control of your situation by asking for help and pursuing it diligently.

sj, I'm glad you have so many knowledgeable folks around to give you advise/support. Pregnancy is hard enough without all the extras that can come with. I think you're doing a good job sticking up for yourself and getting what you need.

One thing that dawned on me re: situations I dread is that I'm remembering how much I hated those situations right after Hubby died. I have since mastered those situations, but I'm still fearing the remembered fear, so I fear the situations. That may seem obvious to people who have better mental health, but I found it epiphanous.

Jumping 500 msgs to ask for advice on therapy. I know I need to be going to a therapist (depression and chronic pain and a touch of ptsd) but i've had terrible experiences in the past with "talk therapy." I don't like *talking* about depression because then i go into that black hole of suck. As a result my PCP regulated my brain drugs and that's usually enuf...but for the next couple months I have a special deal with my insurance where all office visits (including mental health) are 100% covered, no copay...so this seems like an excellent time to try it out. But i'm totally overwhelmed but all the different kinds of therapists out there!

It's like dating, but worse, because i don't know which key phrases to be searching for in the provider lists. I know I don't want talk therapy, i have to DO something, but not sure how that translates into therapist-speak. Any suggestions?

erin_o, maybe look for someone who specializes in short-term behavioral or cognitive-behavioral modes of therapy. Little less navel-gazing, little more strategies for action to make improvements in your life.

I'm working with an anxiety therapist using cognitive behavioral therapy. I've got a workbook that we're slowly going through identifying what my triggers are and ways to defuse them. It does involve some talking, but mainly to discuss why something affects me and what strategies I can use to diminish/dismiss them. It's great to have someone completely non-judgmental listen to you and then redirect you to the work, rather than the thoughts.

Now that my eye surgery is done, I should look into therapy stuff.

I'd look at types of therapy. So the outpatient program I'm starting is DBT therapy and I know that's been helpful for many people and several Buffistas.

The therapist I'm seeing does Internal Family Systems which is a new type of therapy and I like. It's talking but talking with a point - not exactly trying to identify the exact cause for a problem -but identifying "parts" that are in pain and working to where they aren't in pain.