Hugs all around to those that need them.

sj let people support you as much as you can.

I cancelled on therapy because I couldn't deal with the cold and the drive and crying and stuff like that. I just don't want to. My therapist called me back and made sure I was okay she wants me to get out of the house, I'm trying to figure out if going to the mailbox counts. The current temp is 22F feels like 11F.

Anyway Kristen reminded me that if I needed it she could work on getting me into a more structured outpatient program or even inpatient if that's what I needed. Which I don't think I need.

Also got a bill for nearly $400, that was for the whoopin cough test. I called and they are sending an applcation for financial assistance there's a chance they'll forgive the whole thing.

Yes, shopping will be the highlight of this week. Even if it just ends up being Bed Bath and. Beyond and Trader Joes.

Askye, thank you. Sometimes I need a reminder. I really hate asking for help from anyone but TCG or Mom.

askye, I'm sorry it's so hard right now, but I do approve of your therapist checking up on you. I know if Kristen feels like you need more structure, that it will be helpful for you. Also, I hope the financial assistance comes through.

sj, I'm so sorry everything seems fraught right now. It's good that you have a support system, and that eventually you have people to go with you or drive you to appointments. Take heart in what Laura said about the GD. From what I hear, it's pretty simple to take care of--far less hassle than the actual diagnosis. I hope that's true for you.

Ginger, I want your life back for you. I wholeheartedly support Trudy's plan, and will attend avec bells, either live or by video feed. There will be clothing, in my case, along with the bells, no worries.

Laura, man. I wish I could just hug you right now. It's just so freaking hard when they won't--or can't--listen to good advice and when they insist on doing exactly the worst thing for themselves. I wish you and your son every success at sorting this out and getting him on his feet. And giving you lots less stress.

Todd, how utterly awful--and completely predictable. I hope it gets sorted, and soon, rather than later.

Calli, it pleases me to think of spring in NC.

There's a new member of the widow's group on Ravelry. The sisterhood is gathering around her to get her through the shock and confusion. She was grateful that no one said welcome or any of the usual platitudes. We told her we know better.

Thank goddess and whomever pointed me to that board for that group.

Sometimes there needs to be a word for "We're happy to see you, but it sucks that you're here."(I've been in groups that needed one. Laura, my stepbrother did things like that and now he's an EMT and a good father, and if there was hope for him as a young man, well, I won't quite say there's hope for anyone, but he surpassed my cynical predictions.

Bev, I think she was checking in to see if I needed it.

Mom's offered to come up here and visit and I want her to but I want it to be when I can actually enjoy it and not feel like ...whatever I feel like right now. Depressed.

Drank a ton of diet coke the last few days and feel like crap, have to stop that. mostly I'm feeling numb and everything feels weighed down.

Oh Laura, Ginger, askye, and sj. I’m sorry it’s so hard for all of you right now. (Different types of hard, different reasons, but hard nonetheless. Pain isn’t a competition.) Much love to all of you.

Askye, it sounds like a more intensive treatment program might be a really good thing right now. I’m concerned by how much you’re isolating yourself.

Mom's offered to come up here and visit and I want her to but I want it to be when I can actually enjoy it and not feel like ...whatever I feel like right now. Depressed.

Askye, I know sometime it is hard to take your own advice, but let your mom help you.

Yeah, it all depends on your relationship with your mom (in most cases, mine would drive me over the edge way before she'd be of any help if I were depressed!), but if you get along with yours, consider it. And what would the DISadvantage to a more structured outpatient treatment program be? If you're already on medical leave, it might be a good thing.

Well I am spending time in Second Life, which isn't Real Life but i'm actually talking to people using my voice so it's kind of like getting out there. And on skype a bit.

I'll talk to her about it Wednesday. I just don't want to be more...broken...than I already am and a more intensive program means I wouldn't work with Kristen (I think) and I'm worried I'm going to need more than the leave time I have. And..

I'm so fucking MAD! Not Will but just life in general just at being sick and damaged and not able to ever heal.