Well I am spending time in Second Life, which isn't Real Life but i'm actually talking to people using my voice so it's kind of like getting out there. And on skype a bit.
I'll talk to her about it Wednesday. I just don't want to be more...broken...than I already am and a more intensive program means I wouldn't work with Kristen (I think) and I'm worried I'm going to need more than the leave time I have. And..
I'm so fucking MAD! Not Will but just life in general just at being sick and damaged and not able to ever heal.
Now, I haven't been where you are, but over the last few weeks, it has occurred to me, and not for any enormous special reason, that sometimes forever can be a fucking long time, and I thought that at this point, I'd be such an adult with a plan that I'd be like "Barriers to inclusion are so 1980s, man."
But instead I'm still fucking Snot Boogie, except with cute hair.
Not cool. And I have nobody to talk to about it a lot of the time, unless I hang out on some crip board and pretend that bullshit like "Attitudes are the REAL disability" is interesting and not a totally played-out fucking bromide I've been reading since I was nine, in one form or another.(Yes, ableism has an attitudinal component, of course, but it's so much safer and friendlier to keep the focus on MY attitude and how I can sparkle and distract from the brain damage and whatnot, which, given this post's Emanuelesque comfort with expletives, I clearly fail at.)ETA: Which is just my long-winded way of saying that I guess some of don't really get to be DONE with our shit, and sometimes it comes up under stress, like askye's, sometimes when I'm just sitting around doing my things.
That's some shit.
ETA: To clarify, I mean the shit in your lives, not the attitude. To be Shakespearean about it, shit by any other name would smell as foul.
Ugh. Have to have a root canal, but they can't get me in until the 7th.
Vortex, I hope you at least have the good drugs until then?
Nope, just tylenol. It's fine for now.
Everyone goes straight to the drugs.
Vortex, that sucks.
Askye, I'm sorry you feel that way. I know what that's like.
Guess who is too anxious to sleep?
I'm still coughing. Been coughing for over a month now. Just made another appointment with my doctor for Wednesday. Well, actually, with a different doctor at the same practice, because my doctor seems to be out. I'm going to suggest steroids, since that's what helped last time I was like this.
I didn't really have a lot of pain with mine. It wasn't fun, but I got hydrocodone and I didn't need it.
WS, I know what you meant. Actually, the thing that bothers me the most about the "Attitudes..." line is what a huge response it still gets. People chime in with "Wow, that's SO true," and then I'm left torn between @@ and wondering if I'm, like, doin' it wrong or something and a truly worthy crippled person would be much less bored by that, instead of wondering how many "Hang In There, Baby" kitties the original poster has(My guess: More than zero)
Nothing like feeling like an outsider among outsiders.
