I suppose it is arrogant of me to think, 'but it's ME! I've loved and supported you for a decade. When do I get the benefit of the doubt that I'd never purposely hurt you?

Some people are very sensitive to body image criticism, or what they perceive as crit. I've had to address BO issues with employees, and it's awkward, but my tutoring program with him as the tutor was losing clients because he smelled SO. VERY.AWFUL. It lingered in our whole large office after he came in to consult or drop off paperwork.

She's your business partner, or at least a colleague who shares office space. It's her obligation to present a professional front to clients, and that includes appropriate hygiene. You are in the right.

I wish I could come in as a one-time client for her, and leave after 10 minutes after telling her, "I'm very sorry, but I can't concentrate on my issues because your body odor is overpowering, it's unprofessional, and I need to leave. I won't be using your services again, and will recommend to friends and acquaintances not to use your services. You are an excellent coach, but your hygiene is so distracting I can't focus."

(If you were rich, fly me to DC, I'll do it, AND I'll stand in as a stellar dog walker until you can hire 4 peeps! ;) )

Yeah, I'm a bitch and wouldn't put up with that shit. Take more frequent showers or quit reading hippie websites about cancer, or use something natural, whatever--but I don't work with stinky.

Wrod, meara!

What everyone said, bonny. I never know how to address these issues myself, but I'm aware that I sweat a lot, so for me, it's showers and deodorants before work/full day out and sometimes I'll use it again if I have to. I'm sensitive to a bizarre selection of smells, of myself and others. But I never knew how to tell others that their smell is too strong, whether it was due to lack of showers or too much perfume.

Oh! i forgot to say, Shir, that your new kitties are gorgeous,and I wish you years of happiness, laughter and love with them. They are both so very pretty!

(And you KNOW if you have cat questions, you have a plethora od cat-lovin' Buffistas to hook you up with answers!)

Believe me, once stink is in upholstery, it's a pain to get out. My favorite recliner has picked up a funk, and Lysol, baking soda, and Febreeze have failed to remove it. My next attemp to defunk will involve cheap vodka in a spray bottle, a trick a costumer friend recommended.

According to Mythbusters, cheap vodka is a miracle substance.

It certainly was when I was in high school...

I am sorry to report it is escalating.

She sent an email saying that she is just not comfortable coming to my house (at all) anymore because, after a poll of her family, she feels her level hygiene is sufficient.

She won't come because she has never been told that she is unwelcome to use the furniture in anyone's house.

I've asked that we take the conversation off email so that she can hear what I think she missed in what I actually said. But I don't know.

eta: phone call has happened. I think I fixed it, but just feel deflated. She really had gone off into a whole scenario in her head that had nothing to do with what I said. The most understandable part is that she is now worried that I'm going to be judging her every time she walks in the door.

I did everything I could to skirt the line between the fact that her smell really doesn't bother me at all, except where it is transferred to the furniture and indulging in her fantasy that she doesn't smell at all.

I'll give her credit for assuming that her husband (who doesn't like me anyway, mores the pity) is protecting her by saying that she doesn't smell.

Some people are really fragile, bonny, and friendships with them are equally fragile. I've had friends that I've had to basically keep proving over and over that I really was their friend. No matter what we went through together, it wasn't enough; the relationship, and I, were forever on probation. One thing, any thing, that upset them was enough to "prove" that I wasn't really their friend after all and bring the whole relationship crashing down. To mend things with them required a huge outpouring of energy from me to reassure them. People like that are a black hole of loving energy, and can't give much trust back. Loving them is like living in a minefield; you put one foot wrong and the whole thing blows up in your face. I can't do it. I don't know many people who can do it, for long. Unfortunately, such people take every breakup as proof that other people lie when they say they love you, and they become even more bitter and wary. You want to fix them, but you can't, because that would require pointing out a flaw, and well... boom.