I think she's completely overreacting.

I don't know. If I was the only one paying for the room and wasn't there when a party happened, I would be pissed if everything wasn't cleaned up completely when I got back to the room. The fact that they actually had the party that she knew about ahead of time, does seem like an overreaction though.

I find the fact that she went from saying "this person" to broadcasting the person's name repeatedly less than cool. I can see being upset, and I feel like in those circumstances I would be too, but it does seem like she went for the nuclear option awfully early in the grievance process.

Yeah, the fact that she went straight to the Internet to complain rather than talking to the person she had the issue with doesn't lend much credibility to her outrage.

Maria, good thoughts headed your way today.

Jilli, procedure~ma for your dad.

I gotta say, I was pretty freaked by the whole "party in my room without my knowledge" thing, quite aside from how she did or didn't handle things and with whom and when, and "come up to my room" feels really different to me from "come along to someone else's room".

I mean, clearly, a big bunch of miscommunication happened somewhere along the line, and I have no clue about the personalities/histories/social dynamics involved. My gut just sides with she-whose-boundaries-feel-violated, I guess.

Heya - I don't post in Bitches much anymore - moves too fast! But I'm friends with the blogger in question and she saw the trackback here and asked me to check in.

For what it's worth, I believe her and I trust her statement. I know how upset she's been, and I think it's difficult to judge from outside what kind of strange dynamics might be going on that we can't see on the surface.

I read it on her site and was a little flabbergasted. I know that I would never open up someone else's room as a con-wide party. But then, I have enough social anxiety, that I wait for explicit invitations to bring myself.

And I can understand her concern for the security of her things, having people going through what was out, having to clean up after the party, and possibly having to pay for damages.

Not sure if it's overreacting, but I can see being concerned.

My gut just sides with she-whose-boundaries-feel-violated, I guess.

I would, too. 100%.

quite aside from how she did or didn't handle things and with whom and when

Right; I think it could have been handled better, but that's a separate thing from feeling your boundaries were violated by what happened. She gets to have those boundaries, and she gets to have those feelings.