Avoiding dealing with financial stress and bullshit isn't the most mature thing to do, but I bet every person here has stuck their fingers in their ears chanting LALALALALALALA when faced with money woes.

It's the LALALALA that I'm most mad at myself about. I never thought of myself as the kind of person who would do that. It's humbling and scary.

Hubby was the lalala type, he deeply resented bills for some reason. That's why I took it over years ago. I just wish regular payment of rent and utility counted towards a credit score.

For me, it was more of an "okay, I can pay this off over the next few months" that crept up on me, and I don't know WHY the fuck I didn't start re-examining my budget right away. I've been working on fixing it, but for whatever reason (actually, it's probably because I paid bills today), the emotional part of it whammied me good.

Anne, you're well aware beating yourself up for past mistakes is a pointless use of energy. You're learning and moving on. Sticking to the plan, once you make one, will be your new investment. And keeping a sharp eye on things so you can revise the plan if it isn't working is also key.

I'd be fine, financially, if it was only myself to worry about. The Other Human, however, seems differently motivated.

On my monthly To Do list, I have dates that I pay specific bills. I divided them up between paychecks, and I keep reminding myself that so long as I keep up with the ones that are due and ignore the others, that it's not so bad.

Thanks, all. Simply being able to get this out there in writing and getting some acknowledgement was a huge help. Even though I had embarked on my new plan, the mental chorus of stupid-failure-irresponsible was not going away. I think it will try to crop up again from time to time, but I'm not gonna let it win.

Typo, my suggestion is to double check your mother's medical coverage - some plans will pay for those (especially as they are a bit preventative), some won't. And of course, some will pay for some but not as many as a person might actually use. Second suggestion is to check local pharmacies - sometimes they have more economical options on compression stockings.

Anne, don't beat yourself up about the LALALALA. You were simply not ready at that time to deal. You are now. Giving yourself that time to not deal gave you the space to GET ready. Now you are, so go at it wholeheartedly. And when you are tempted to vent your frustrations by ragging on yourself, practice the self-discipline of speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a beloved friend. You might admit the existence of past mistakes, but you wouldn't harp on them - instead you would encourage a focus on the here and now.

I'm trying not to freak out/beat myself up over being several thousand in debt.

Anne, I'm in the same boat, for what it's worth. Some of it was my trips to the UK, which I don't regret but didn't exactly budget for properly. Also I've been in a hole of depression for a while, and that leads to me spending money and not watching where it goes. Somehow, *utterly mysteriously*, I've got nearly ten thousand in credit card debt, when I was totally clear three years ago. And I feel like such an irresponsible dummy. I *know* better. So, yeah. Right there with you, paddling up the river.

I'm in the process of clearing out a lot of clutter, and instead of dumping it all at Goodwill, I'm thinking of trying to sell a bunch of it on eBay, not that I think I'll make enough to make a serious dent in the debt, it's more like, if I put out the effort to list and pack and mail all this stuff, it'll make some kind of visceral memory that will help me stop myself the next time I'm tempted to buy some shiny little thing that I don't really need.

Anne, I think most of us have gone down that road at some point, including the beating ourselves up about it part! At one point I told my mom I had debt beyond her wildest dreams. Our focus at this point is to get rid of it completely. It is a slow process, but I think it can happen.

I married Tim AND his debt (I don't count the mortgage; this is credit card debt). It's not awesome, but it happened, and we're working on it. We just have to keep moving forward with it.