Good luck with the dietician, WS.
omnis, WTHeck is pink noise?
askye, sorry you had a rough day. I hope you get to see some nice, soothing, hilarious explosions.
My coworker/ de facto supervisor left some notes out on a clipboard today, which included the following:
[smonster name]
Constructive criticism
Selective slowdown
Instincts
So, yeah. I don't know what that's about, or when she wrote it, or if there's an unpleasant meeting in my near future, or what. I know I'm a crappy employee, but she's a pretty crappy supervisor. Trying to decide whether to be proactive about it or not. Thoughts?
ugh smonster, hard to not perseverate on that one, but probably not a good thing to perseverate about either. Many hugs for you.
Ugh, that's awk, smonster. Do you think "selective slowdown" means she thinks you're slowing down at your own times/choice as a bad thing, or that she wants you to slow down (as a fewer hours thing, or as a "you're going too fast" thing or as a "we want to bill the client more hours" thing??). Weird.
meara, most likely the first. Which, I don't. I'm just apparently slow as shit.
It sucks. I psyche myself out so much, getting so anxious that I make even more mistakes than I would otherwise. I'm paranoid and afraid of being judged, and I don't get timely feedback (most likely because she's afraid I'll get defensive and upset; I do, sometimes, and I know I need to work on that). I don't know, there are days where I'm like "Just ascend and fire me, already." It's frustrating because we are both good people, and want the company to succeed, but have very different work styles and personalities and she is not trained as a supervisor at all.
Pink Noise: [link]
Kinda like static. But with specific details.
Clicked on the link. Brain says "Here be weird squiggles" and panicked. Tried to read description, triggering Barely Understood the Title of the Article Syndrome.
I hate encountering the inner mysteries of fields I don't know, it's like discovering a wing of a library where I don't know the language of the books and knowing I don't have time to learn it.
Had such a rough day at work, I cried when I got home. I still feel like crying. I hate, hate, hate medication changes. Oh, I know with powerful medications come powerful side effects, so once in a while it is a good practice to try newer meds to see if they will work as well with fewer side effects. But B. was stable. And in January they had just added birth control pills to decrease any hormone-related behaviors, and it seemed to be improving things. But then they had to fuck it all up in February by gradually decreasing Seroquel and adding in Clozapine. B. had a bad reaction to the Clozapine - not eating, not wanting to anything other than lie on the floor for a month. They discontinued Topamax and ... something else (taken in the mornings, so I never gave it and can't remember) to see if they were interacting with the Clozapine. After extensive testing they realized the Clozapine was doing damage to her heart, so discontinued it. They've been gradually adding the Seroquel back, but it is not up to full strength that B. had been taking before, and they've only gone back up to 1/4 of the dose of Topamaz, and they haven't added back in the other thing that I can't remember. It's fucking August. Last month another individual was moved to a different house because B. was targeting her and it was unsafe. There is still one other individual beside B. in the house. Fortunately that person's bedroom is on a different floor of the split level. What B. needed, months ago, was to be placed (temporarily) in a mental health facility where the medications can be managed with doctors and nurses seeing her every day, and get this under control, get her back into balance. And then bring her home to us.
I'm not going to go into detail about today's violence or how ineffective the allowed holds are. I'll just say I don't feel I can back my coworkers up effectively when they are being attacked. And when B. went outside and started throwing rocks, I stood at the door and barred re-entry. I
think
that was legal. Heaven help me, the whole time B. was out there I was hoping the neighbors would call the police, so I could suggest that the police refer her for a 72-hr psych eval.
I want the real B. back.
Ah, that is awful. I've been in similar situations at the teen shelter, and it's so frustrating. I hope things work out better for her and you.
Um. If someone is throwing rocks at you is that not enough for you to be allowed to call the cops and suggest a hold? I mean, I know it's your job and I'm sure you have to put up with various things from folks that you wouldn't from strangers, but at what point are you allowed to say "this person is endangering me and making my job impossible to perform and needs to stop"?
