It feels like forever, but it hasn't even been two weeks yet.
Time gets to be very wibbly wobbly after a loss. Awareness of the passage of time can be weird. "It has been 5000 minutes. It has now been 5001 minutes. I should feel differently. I should feel something about this time. No, that's silly. The time doesn't matter. There are only two times. Before This Death and After This Death. It has now been 5002... no make that 5007 minutes. Wait, what happened to minutes 5003-5006? Did I really just lose them by thinking this crap?"
Interesting psychological insight: I'm needing to learn to do things competently just for myself, instead of for the approval of someone else. I've always had that issue, that my own satisfaction is not sufficient reason to do something.
edited because English to make sentences good.
Yeah, that's an important one to learn. Hard, though. Especially because we get societal conditioning to depreciate our capabilities.
He was such a big personality. I consciously let him take the lead, because being with him was so much more fun than constantly insisting that he back off occasionally. He didn't know how, to the frustration of nearly everyone who knew him.
It's kind of nice not to have to explain why I'm driving a particular route instead of a route that makes more sense to him. He was constantly trying to understand my brain, and it frustrated him when I said "I'm doing this just because this is the way I'm doing it."
Frustrating, magnificent man.
That is a big one for DH too. It was easier for me to get him used to me doing things my own way though because we started out when I was 34 and he was 23. The thing I always said was, "you have 2 choices; you can drive or I can drive, but me driving your way isn't one of the options." In our case it was generally the keyboard we were talking about driving because we worked on computer systems together. He wants to stand over me and say, "type this." Makes me crazy.
It is going to take a bit to get your bearings, Connie. Oh how I wish it could be an easier road.
we started out when I was 34 and he was 23
Somehow I misread that as Liese posting this and was like "wait, have you been lying about your age forever??" Hah!
Hahah, busted, meara! I have totally been lying!
No, I met the SO when I was 16 and he was 23. We were babies!
So she got his age right, I see. I'm impressed. meara pays attention.
Home from the wake. My great-aunt was understandably taking it hard. They would have been married 65 years this year. I can't even imagine that.
The plumber's son (also a plumber) was here an hour longer than estimated. Which probably means the bill is going to be larger than the estimate. It probably would have gone faster if his dad had stopped calling to find out what was taking so long.
