Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
We want to hear whatever you need to say, Connie.
You are a strong person, and you know he'd want you to stay strong.
One of the listener things I've learned that I've told mom when coping with her sister's loss of Frank is that she can't fix IT, but she can just be there to chase all the mental trails and head them off when they're heading to unproductive grounds- but nothing can fix.
THIS. She learned this because of me.
Sarameg is the reason why I made it through. She didn't need to be there physically, but she would have been had I asked. Her nightly phone calls were beacons in a very dark place, and often the only things I could hold on to. She didn't judge; she didn't preach; she didn't fix. She just was. And that's what I needed.
Share everything. Share nothing. It's not going to change the fact that we support you, and we're willing to take whatever you want to throw our way.
Beautifully said, MFNlaw.
I've been watching Castle episodes, refilling my week's drug caddies. Typical end of the week stuff. Feeling normal. Feeling the crouching dread. Feeling the "why bother."
I need to talk to someone professional. The distraction of Castle is good, but it wears off. It's been just over 24 hours, I know it's hard, but, dammit.
Connie, the Huntsman should have resources. Hopkins did for me. And don't be so hard on yourself. You would chastise me if I said the same. Go ahead and feel the "why bother." You're searching for a new normal. It's going to take time.
I'm so afraid of the future. I hate feeling right and knowing I'm going to get slugged in the stomach again. I've always hidden behind him when I was this afraid. And I have to stand here and take it.
Connie, I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
Taking some time on the overnight shift. Connie, checking in, seeing if I can be a distraction. Or helpful in some way?
I've always hidden behind him when I was this afraid. And I have to stand here and take it.There is physical, and there is emotional. While he may no longer physically be there to stand behind, emotionally, he is strong in your heart. Use that strength. As a shelter from the storm. As a shield. As a crutch to lean on. It will power you. It will help you these coming days/weeks/months.
I am so sorry, Connie.