Beautifully said, MFNlaw.
We're in love. We're ... lovers. We're lesbian, gay-type lovers.
Willow ,'Potential'
Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Scrappy - Jul 04, 2014 8:57:20 pm PDT #11922 of 30002
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Connie Neil - Jul 04, 2014 9:11:11 pm PDT #11923 of 30002
brillig
I've been watching Castle episodes, refilling my week's drug caddies. Typical end of the week stuff. Feeling normal. Feeling the crouching dread. Feeling the "why bother."
I need to talk to someone professional. The distraction of Castle is good, but it wears off. It's been just over 24 hours, I know it's hard, but, dammit.
Maria - Jul 04, 2014 9:17:12 pm PDT #11924 of 30002
Not so nice is that I'm about to ruin a Friday morning for a bunch of people because of a series of unfortunate events and an upset foreign government. - shrift
Connie, the Huntsman should have resources. Hopkins did for me. And don't be so hard on yourself. You would chastise me if I said the same. Go ahead and feel the "why bother." You're searching for a new normal. It's going to take time.
Connie Neil - Jul 04, 2014 9:31:20 pm PDT #11925 of 30002
brillig
I'm so afraid of the future. I hate feeling right and knowing I'm going to get slugged in the stomach again. I've always hidden behind him when I was this afraid. And I have to stand here and take it.
SailAweigh - Jul 04, 2014 9:51:41 pm PDT #11926 of 30002
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Connie, I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
omnis_audis - Jul 04, 2014 11:09:22 pm PDT #11927 of 30002
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir
Taking some time on the overnight shift. Connie, checking in, seeing if I can be a distraction. Or helpful in some way?
I've always hidden behind him when I was this afraid. And I have to stand here and take it.There is physical, and there is emotional. While he may no longer physically be there to stand behind, emotionally, he is strong in your heart. Use that strength. As a shelter from the storm. As a shield. As a crutch to lean on. It will power you. It will help you these coming days/weeks/months.
P.M. Marc - Jul 04, 2014 11:58:41 pm PDT #11928 of 30002
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear
I am so sorry, Connie.
Shir - Jul 05, 2014 3:44:11 am PDT #11929 of 30002
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".
Connie. I am so sorry. My deepest sympathies.
>I think I understand where agoraphobia comes from. My foundation is missing, and I'm afraid to step off the porch. I keep telling myself that these first few days are going to be the worst, that I am strong, I can live mostly on my own. But here in the middle of it, it's hard to breathe.
You are a heroine for letting him go, and he is the legend he made of his life.
You truly are, Connie. You are incredibly brave. I am in tears for you and your DH. If there's anything I can do (time difference, yay?), just say.
My heart also goes out to Miracleman and family, DCJ and family, and belated condolences to Sail.
Belated congrats to DebetEsse, moving~ma to Strix, job~ma and health~ma to those who need it.
Happy belated ~ma to basically everyone, because I think I missed all of your birthdays.
sj - Jul 05, 2014 4:01:07 am PDT #11930 of 30002
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Connie, please don't feel you need to hold anything back you need to say; we can take it.
Shir, how are you?
Laura - Jul 05, 2014 4:22:50 am PDT #11931 of 30002
Our wings are not tired.
I want him so badly, a little voice keeps saying "You could go to him, and you'll never be without him again." But so many people would be even more devastated, thinking they'd failed me. Billions of spouses have gone through this. I have to believe that there will be happiness, that it won't always be a thing of "If only he was here."
Everything you feel is normal. I believe taking advantage of whatever Huntsman has to offer would be a good plan. I should have done so, but didn't, should have. My sister had been widowed 2 years before me so I went and stayed with her for about 6 weeks. This helped so much because I had her reassurance that all my emotions in a million directions were okay.
It has been 27 years and I still think "If only he was here." Only now it is a feeling I get when I experience something I know he would enjoy, and it is a warm loving memory and not a stabbing pain. I don't know how long it takes, it sure isn't a short and direct road.
Love you. Do what you feel will help because you know yourself best. Know that first so many wish you never had to know this pain, and second, so many want to help if we can.
A bizarre notion that has crossed my mind more than a few times over the years that I will share to express how all thoughts are normal. In most cases one spouse leaves first and all things considered I now know that I was better equipped to live through it. As brutal as the experience was for me, he would have been completely destroyed. Somehow the universe knows these things.
Okay, too much memememe.