Hil, how annoying.

I'm at the library bookstore bored and hungry, but I can't decide what I want to get for dinner when I leave.

Trader Joe's finally opened up in Burlington so I went. It was SLAMMED and the parking lot is tiny. And they are opening up a Pier 1 right next to it, I have no idea how the parking is going to work. The TJ's is small, I bet if you smooshed the TJ's space and the Pier 1 space together it would still be small for a TJ.

I got some frozen stuff I'll see how I like it, mostly I was in a haze. I haven't been sleeping well and today should have been a day off but I had to go in this morning (closed last night).

I also seemed to have dumped my therapist. I didn't mean to but the sheduling was getting weird and I kept missing appointments. I have a line on some nurse practitioners that are taking patients for meds management but I a little heistant because based on their website their practice is way more woo-ish than I normally like my medicine. But I need to call anyway.

In three ish weeks I'm going to Florida for a visit and see my family I'm excited.

And I keep trying to find some sort of something to do to get me out of the house. There's not a knitting group around here that I can find that seems to work with my work schedule. I'm thinking of getting back into reading comics (which I relaly do like) so getting weekly pulls will get me out of the house.

I got feedback from work which too me a few minutes to understand, my manager told me I get a lot of feedback. Which kind of confused me, but then he explained that he tells me stuff because he knows I can take the feedback and I'll use it to get better rather than getting upset or taking it the wrong way.

I thought about that for a minute and said something like, well sometimes at first I get a little defenisve and then I realize whatever I'm being told is just going to help me do my job.

And my manager was like, "and that's why you get feedback".

I also really need to mow my lawn but it keeps raining off and on and it's way too wet to mow anything.

Penny just peed in front of the litter box and I realized it's not the first time she's done this recently. The litter is relatively fresh but I think the box needs a good cleaning. One the list tomorrow is a run for some litter and I think I have some Nature's Miracle to use to clean the box. And the rug in front of the litter box and possibly the carpet.

Why can't pets be easy?

Because caring for others is hard sometimes.

Speaking of, cat peed on my bed again because she got shut in the room by accident. So instead of TCB I was taking care of laundry today.

Given the amount of pee and poo involved with real pets, if I ever get to the point of being able to afford it, I think I'll buy a robot pet.

TCG was bitten by a tick today. So, we spent the afternoon at urgent care instead of at my cousin's wedding. We should still make it to the reception tonight barring any other disasters.

We made it to the wedding reception, and now we're back at Mom's and finally watching the finale of Hannibal.

Glad TCG is okay.

The finale of Hannibal could easily be construed as a disaster. Albeit one that can be enjoyed from the comfort of a nice sofa.

FFS, my little sister's high school graduation is in a few weeks, and of course i've juggled vacation days and trades to get enough time away from work in June be there. Today her mother sent out a group email to eight people asking for RSVPS to the graduation ceremony followed by: "Finally, I have a personal request. (sister) is aware of some special letters that other members of the family have received at 18th b'days or graduations. Those letters reflected back on memories of the young person's life, character traits, hopes and dreams the author may have had for them. The sort of letters that get cherished and treasured for years to come. -I wonder if you might be willing to write such a letter, short or long, for her? It would mean more than you imagine."

This is pissing me off more than i have words for. My father started writing a letter to me the day I was born, and gave it to me upon my high school graduation. I treasure the tome (it's a good 12 pages of handwritten scrawl.) Stepmother was present when I received it. That is CLEARLY what my sister's mother is referencing and trying to elicit from people. A BIT LATE FOR A LIFETIME COMPOSITION, WOMAN! I suspect she's trying to lay a guilt trip on my father who, for many reasons (including a strong belief that my sister is not his biological daughter, for REASONS which have foundation but which he will not confirm or deny with genetic testing) has not had a strong bond with his younger daughter. Pretty sure that since he was still recovering from quadruple bypass surgery when she was born, and considers that a result of his heart breaking when he found out his wife was cheating on him, he might not have been in quite the same emotional state WRT progeny that he was when I was born. We have vastly different relationships with the man. He also was no longer the young man yearning for a family that he had been when I came along. Expecting a repeat performance from him is utterly unrealistic, in spite of how nice it would be for her. Now I feel super guilty for ever sharing how much I cherish that letter since clearly a bar has been set and expectations made.

And since there's little chance of her getting such a letter from Dad, I feel pretty damned prodded here to pass on the favor, so to speak. (other recipients of this request were her grandparents and friends of the family. Hopefully at least one of them will comply lest hearts be broken.) And while I love my sister and have been composing and giving lengthy letters to her for YEARS the ornery, contrary part of me is now digging in my heels and saying HELLS NO just because her mom is asking for it. Which leaves me feeling mean, spiteful, and emotionally blackmailed, and wanting to just bail on the whole trip and go spend a week with friends instead. (Which won't happen, I'm not going to punish my sister for her mother's emotional manipulations, but it does make me really want to spend less time with the both of them.)

Ugh. Way to feel like a selfish and evil bitch, self.