Given the amount of pee and poo involved with real pets, if I ever get to the point of being able to afford it, I think I'll buy a robot pet.

TCG was bitten by a tick today. So, we spent the afternoon at urgent care instead of at my cousin's wedding. We should still make it to the reception tonight barring any other disasters.

We made it to the wedding reception, and now we're back at Mom's and finally watching the finale of Hannibal.

Glad TCG is okay.

The finale of Hannibal could easily be construed as a disaster. Albeit one that can be enjoyed from the comfort of a nice sofa.

FFS, my little sister's high school graduation is in a few weeks, and of course i've juggled vacation days and trades to get enough time away from work in June be there. Today her mother sent out a group email to eight people asking for RSVPS to the graduation ceremony followed by: "Finally, I have a personal request. (sister) is aware of some special letters that other members of the family have received at 18th b'days or graduations. Those letters reflected back on memories of the young person's life, character traits, hopes and dreams the author may have had for them. The sort of letters that get cherished and treasured for years to come. -I wonder if you might be willing to write such a letter, short or long, for her? It would mean more than you imagine."

This is pissing me off more than i have words for. My father started writing a letter to me the day I was born, and gave it to me upon my high school graduation. I treasure the tome (it's a good 12 pages of handwritten scrawl.) Stepmother was present when I received it. That is CLEARLY what my sister's mother is referencing and trying to elicit from people. A BIT LATE FOR A LIFETIME COMPOSITION, WOMAN! I suspect she's trying to lay a guilt trip on my father who, for many reasons (including a strong belief that my sister is not his biological daughter, for REASONS which have foundation but which he will not confirm or deny with genetic testing) has not had a strong bond with his younger daughter. Pretty sure that since he was still recovering from quadruple bypass surgery when she was born, and considers that a result of his heart breaking when he found out his wife was cheating on him, he might not have been in quite the same emotional state WRT progeny that he was when I was born. We have vastly different relationships with the man. He also was no longer the young man yearning for a family that he had been when I came along. Expecting a repeat performance from him is utterly unrealistic, in spite of how nice it would be for her. Now I feel super guilty for ever sharing how much I cherish that letter since clearly a bar has been set and expectations made.

And since there's little chance of her getting such a letter from Dad, I feel pretty damned prodded here to pass on the favor, so to speak. (other recipients of this request were her grandparents and friends of the family. Hopefully at least one of them will comply lest hearts be broken.) And while I love my sister and have been composing and giving lengthy letters to her for YEARS the ornery, contrary part of me is now digging in my heels and saying HELLS NO just because her mom is asking for it. Which leaves me feeling mean, spiteful, and emotionally blackmailed, and wanting to just bail on the whole trip and go spend a week with friends instead. (Which won't happen, I'm not going to punish my sister for her mother's emotional manipulations, but it does make me really want to spend less time with the both of them.)

Ugh. Way to feel like a selfish and evil bitch, self.

erin_o, I understand that urge to do the opposite of what is being prodded for. There is crazy-making in that asking. One way to preserve sanity is to put your energy into whatever intersection there is between what your sister truly needs/wants at this time and what resources you have available for her. It can be crappy that parents cannot treat every child exactly equal, but then it can be excellent as well. And that is the kind of wisdom that does not come easily wrapped for a graduation prezzie.

It's not cool to *ask* for a heartwarming offering...maybe this is pinging me because it is the sort of crap my stepmother would pull. Maybe stepmom can get an autograph book or and send it/pass it around at graduation festivities? No guarantees but I bet her friends and family *could* write some touching thoughts, but nobody can do it under the gun like that, except Nicholas Sparks or somebody. But that request has an undertone of "Make me cry, goddamnit," which I would instantly resent.(Does she know what her daughter really wants? Some people, ie, your correspondent, don't really look for a lot of sentiment...everyone likes to feel loved, of course, but snark is generally more my personal sweet spot.)

Oh, I think if you care about the person, you can do it under the gun. People write eulogies under the gun all the time. I think it might be different than something written on your own time, but it's totally doable. If you DON'T care about the person, well, all bets are off.

I suppose. And if it's heartfelt enough, nobody will care about the execution that much...in my experience though, it's not the moments you try to engineer the most that make the best memories, but I'm sure that nobody will come up empty.