Pasta:

Sean, I hope the next roommate is the right one. My experience has been that most people are not jerks so the odds are in your favor having gone through 2 rotten ones.

I spent a few hours today sorting through the medical bills and EOBs from my hospital stay and follow ups and putting it all in a spreadsheet. Good grief. I guess I'll try and make actual sense of it this week. It is like there are always so many 'pending' items I can't close out anything. The hospital bill was 23K something and they settled with the insurance company for 4K something. Now that is cool and all, but does that mean if I didn't have insurance or if I went to a hospital that didn't have a contract with Aetna that I would have owed them 23K. Probably. The whole system is a mess.

Thanks, Laura.

I think the poll worker situation is pinging a larger concern of mine about what is happening in a culture with growing numbers of mainstreamed differences and rapidly increasing numbers of folks with autism (which is not this lady's situation).

More tolerance is required where less seems available every day!

One recommendation is to have a helper stay with this lady to help keep her calm. I know the BOE can't do this because they frankly just don't have enough workers/volunteers for the jobs required.

Though, I suppose it would be better for them to recommend that than me doing it.

Yeah, I'm super fearful for this young woman on facebook. That kind of money inspires initiative and determination on even a casual criminal's part. Goodness knows, I wouldn't even trust people I KNOW to control themselves in the face of such temptation. Just. not. smart.

The problem with tolerance and mainstreaming, though, is that jobs need to be done to a particular standard by a particular deadline. Even the standardly-bodied aren't qualified for all positions.

Totally agreed, and I did move people around to their optimal effect.

Sadly, most of the complaints were, "She yelled at me, how dare she!" It was 100% obvious visually, verbally and physically that she is different. Who cares that she speaks loudly in the 20 seconds total you spent in her presence?

I guess it worries me that something so inconsequential (she was not counting ballots or anything...she was telling people to put their ballots in the scanner and handing out "I voted" stickers) It just bothers me that people was so BOTHERED when they could have shaken it off.

Are we having more of these experiences in general, or am I being over sensitive?

I don't think you're overly sensitive, bonny, you're just aware, and it bothers you. Most people would *tsk* and forget about it, and not think twice about what it means for the culture at large.

But you know, there will always be people who think they should be treated like the most noble and delicate of princesses. More and more, people from that most privileged demographic are gonna hafta get used to interacting with people who are not like them, and most people will figure out how not to be an ass, and some people will continue to be precious princesses regardless of how much they hear about that "tolerance" business.

I'd say, just focus on how well the person was able to do the job she was given, and how well she handled the difficulties that arose. If she did well enough, then great; if not, then recommend whatever you think is best for her and for the job. Forget about what the princesses think; they are not important except as being one of the difficulties the job includes. Every job includes dealing with difficult people. Did she handle those situations well, or not? How much help did she need, and do you have resources to provide that help? That's all.

Zen, you've helped me to make a decision. I don't like my decision, but it is the one that I think is best for this woman and for myself.

I DO worry about the culture at large...I really do. I sometimes remind myself of Andi McDowell at the beginning of Sex, Lies and Videotape. "I worry about the trash."

I don't know if I will ever stop doing so. And I will continue to do whatever I can to champion what I think is right.

Having said that, I can only do so on a one-on-one basis.

The one person, beside myself, that I can influence is this worker. I will ask the Board to choose a quieter precinct for her. I think she deserves to work if she wants to. I don't know that boredom will be any better for her than being abused by entitled folks, but it WILL make it easier on me.

No guarantee that I'll replace this situation something better, but like the woman on facebook, I just feel that I am irresponsible if I don't say something.

One recommendation is to have a helper stay with this lady to help keep her calm. I know the BOE can't do this because they frankly just don't have enough workers/volunteers for the jobs required.

She may have access to a companion who could be with her. There is a group of developmentally disabled people who come to my gym to walk around the track, and there are companions who walk with them. Tim's aunt has Down syndrome, and she lives in a group home that has employees who can accompany her on certain outings.

I don't know if it's too complicated for you to suggest that to the BOE (well, not too complicated for you to suggest -- that's a simple sentence or two -- but possibly too complicated for them to follow up on).

Several people have made the same recommendation, Steph. I think it is a good one.

I will definitely include that in my comments to the BOE. I fear they will not follow up.

I do have the woman's email address, which she doesn't use much, but I've been unsure if it would be insulting for me to say such a thing to her directly.

It seems clear that she has been through a training program (repetitive responses to similar stimulus), so having a helper may not be a radical suggestion.

If your relationship with her has previously included making such suggestions through her personal email, then maybe. If not, then don't. If it's not a radical suggestion, she or someone looking out for her has probably already thought of it, and anyway, that's (probably) not your job. It's not all on you to help her (even if it feels like it sometimes!).

Lotta "if" in this post.

That's the hard bit. I know it isn't on me, but the impulse to help is strong.

For instance, the dog from last week that nearly bit the walker's face? Today, I spent an hour trying to find a veterinary behaviorist for them, event though they aren't clients any more. I just feel terrible when it seems there is no help, or when others easily give up.

I've been accused of being too helpful. I really don't want to bug people. I just don't feel good leaving people/things in need.