And boys -- let's watch the swearing.

Mayor ,'Chosen'


Spike's Bitches 48: I Say, We Go Out There, and Kick a Little Demon Ass.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


beekaytee - Apr 06, 2014 12:54:59 pm PDT #10254 of 30002
Compassionately intolerant

Thanks, Laura.

I think the poll worker situation is pinging a larger concern of mine about what is happening in a culture with growing numbers of mainstreamed differences and rapidly increasing numbers of folks with autism (which is not this lady's situation).

More tolerance is required where less seems available every day!

One recommendation is to have a helper stay with this lady to help keep her calm. I know the BOE can't do this because they frankly just don't have enough workers/volunteers for the jobs required.

Though, I suppose it would be better for them to recommend that than me doing it.

Yeah, I'm super fearful for this young woman on facebook. That kind of money inspires initiative and determination on even a casual criminal's part. Goodness knows, I wouldn't even trust people I KNOW to control themselves in the face of such temptation. Just. not. smart.


Connie Neil - Apr 06, 2014 1:28:12 pm PDT #10255 of 30002
brillig

The problem with tolerance and mainstreaming, though, is that jobs need to be done to a particular standard by a particular deadline. Even the standardly-bodied aren't qualified for all positions.


beekaytee - Apr 06, 2014 1:37:04 pm PDT #10256 of 30002
Compassionately intolerant

Totally agreed, and I did move people around to their optimal effect.

Sadly, most of the complaints were, "She yelled at me, how dare she!" It was 100% obvious visually, verbally and physically that she is different. Who cares that she speaks loudly in the 20 seconds total you spent in her presence?

I guess it worries me that something so inconsequential (she was not counting ballots or anything...she was telling people to put their ballots in the scanner and handing out "I voted" stickers) It just bothers me that people was so BOTHERED when they could have shaken it off.

Are we having more of these experiences in general, or am I being over sensitive?


Zenkitty - Apr 06, 2014 2:02:21 pm PDT #10257 of 30002
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

I don't think you're overly sensitive, bonny, you're just aware, and it bothers you. Most people would *tsk* and forget about it, and not think twice about what it means for the culture at large.

But you know, there will always be people who think they should be treated like the most noble and delicate of princesses. More and more, people from that most privileged demographic are gonna hafta get used to interacting with people who are not like them, and most people will figure out how not to be an ass, and some people will continue to be precious princesses regardless of how much they hear about that "tolerance" business.

I'd say, just focus on how well the person was able to do the job she was given, and how well she handled the difficulties that arose. If she did well enough, then great; if not, then recommend whatever you think is best for her and for the job. Forget about what the princesses think; they are not important except as being one of the difficulties the job includes. Every job includes dealing with difficult people. Did she handle those situations well, or not? How much help did she need, and do you have resources to provide that help? That's all.


beekaytee - Apr 06, 2014 2:16:41 pm PDT #10258 of 30002
Compassionately intolerant

Zen, you've helped me to make a decision. I don't like my decision, but it is the one that I think is best for this woman and for myself.

I DO worry about the culture at large...I really do. I sometimes remind myself of Andi McDowell at the beginning of Sex, Lies and Videotape. "I worry about the trash."

I don't know if I will ever stop doing so. And I will continue to do whatever I can to champion what I think is right.

Having said that, I can only do so on a one-on-one basis.

The one person, beside myself, that I can influence is this worker. I will ask the Board to choose a quieter precinct for her. I think she deserves to work if she wants to. I don't know that boredom will be any better for her than being abused by entitled folks, but it WILL make it easier on me.

No guarantee that I'll replace this situation something better, but like the woman on facebook, I just feel that I am irresponsible if I don't say something.


Steph L. - Apr 06, 2014 2:35:31 pm PDT #10259 of 30002
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

One recommendation is to have a helper stay with this lady to help keep her calm. I know the BOE can't do this because they frankly just don't have enough workers/volunteers for the jobs required.

She may have access to a companion who could be with her. There is a group of developmentally disabled people who come to my gym to walk around the track, and there are companions who walk with them. Tim's aunt has Down syndrome, and she lives in a group home that has employees who can accompany her on certain outings.

I don't know if it's too complicated for you to suggest that to the BOE (well, not too complicated for you to suggest -- that's a simple sentence or two -- but possibly too complicated for them to follow up on).


beekaytee - Apr 06, 2014 2:43:02 pm PDT #10260 of 30002
Compassionately intolerant

Several people have made the same recommendation, Steph. I think it is a good one.

I will definitely include that in my comments to the BOE. I fear they will not follow up.

I do have the woman's email address, which she doesn't use much, but I've been unsure if it would be insulting for me to say such a thing to her directly.

It seems clear that she has been through a training program (repetitive responses to similar stimulus), so having a helper may not be a radical suggestion.


Zenkitty - Apr 06, 2014 4:09:21 pm PDT #10261 of 30002
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

If your relationship with her has previously included making such suggestions through her personal email, then maybe. If not, then don't. If it's not a radical suggestion, she or someone looking out for her has probably already thought of it, and anyway, that's (probably) not your job. It's not all on you to help her (even if it feels like it sometimes!).

Lotta "if" in this post.


beekaytee - Apr 06, 2014 4:27:52 pm PDT #10262 of 30002
Compassionately intolerant

That's the hard bit. I know it isn't on me, but the impulse to help is strong.

For instance, the dog from last week that nearly bit the walker's face? Today, I spent an hour trying to find a veterinary behaviorist for them, event though they aren't clients any more. I just feel terrible when it seems there is no help, or when others easily give up.

I've been accused of being too helpful. I really don't want to bug people. I just don't feel good leaving people/things in need.


billytea - Apr 06, 2014 4:55:22 pm PDT #10263 of 30002
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

My older brother was in town this weekend. We went out to dinner last night, along with our respective firstborns and our youngest brother. (They chose a restaurant directly across the street from my office, which was unexpected.) He's landed a full-time job, which is nice. Good that Ryan has the chance to spend time with some of his extended family too. (It meant that he was up an hour after his bedtime, though.)

Alas, our poor little boy has been feeling sick. Bad cough again, as usual. He's had swollen tonsils as long as I can remember now, but the doctors all seem to think the surgery is worse than the frequent respiratory infections. A couple of nights ago he managed to cough up a truly prodigious quantity of phlegm all over his shirt. Seriously, he looked like he was fresh off the set of Ghostbusters. I hope he's feeling better today.