Sorta like Colon Blow on SNL?

That's exactly what I thought of.

I don't think homophobes find it easy to accept gay people of any sort

Well, yes, there is that. I totally didn't mean to imply there were "allowed gayness" criteria, or anything. Just that there's a level of comfort when the icky people are easily spotted and treated badly.

Suppose you let one sit next to you on the bus???? No, if they're wearing chaps, you can pearl clutch and stalk off to the other side of the vehicle.

If in the end, what you want is for more people to be more tolerant and accepting, then the Ellen approach is the one that has the best chance. I just spent a week in rural Texas with extended (conservative) family. They *love* Ellen because she's funny and kind and makes fun of herself.

Seriously, Ellen has done so much (just by being herself) to further gay rights in places like Kerrville, Texas. My cousin even said, "I was against gay marriage until I thought about Ellen and Portia not being able to see each other in the hospital." It's just like when you think you hate [fill in the blank] until your daughter marries one and then suddenly it's "oh, he's treating her very well, and is good to his children, and he's great fun bowling!"

I think nothing changes people like relationships do. And Ellen (and NPH on Twitter, etc) makes people feel they know her, and she knows them. It breaks down perceptions and biases.

ETA prude alert: I HATE chaps when people are fucking naked under them. I don't care if you're gay, straight, bi, whatever, I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR ASS CHEEKS. And I don't want naked body parts on public transportation.

Oh, I totally agree, javachik (and I love Ellen!!). But at the same time, having people in the community say "NO, you shouldn't have men in Speedos dancing on floats at Pride, we can't give the wrong impression to the media and straight people! It should be all about couples and their children and how we're JUST LIKE YOU!" pisses me off.

Just a quick aside: javachik, my brother lives in (or at least near) Kerrville! Small world.

Eta: meara, that's something I have been thinking about lately, how having a little bit of grudging acceptance can make for more pressure to conform to broad societal norms than being very marginalized. Not that I am for marginalization, but it's a weird side effect of progress.

Oh, I totally agree, javachik (and I love Ellen!!). But at the same time, having people in the community say "NO, you shouldn't have men in Speedos dancing on floats at Pride, we can't give the wrong impression to the media and straight people! It should be all about couples and their children and how we're JUST LIKE YOU!" pisses me off.

Oh yeah, I can see that. It's why I started out with "in the end, if what you want..." and I think there might be some in your community who don't give a crap about outside acceptance? Or they do but they don't want to change to be accepted? In any case, I was just so pleased that politics never came up and that we actually had a good talk about teh gayz AND the importance of not supporting companies who mostly outsource/don't treat employees well/etc. It was such a wonderful vacation.

-t, cool! Where does he live? Do you ever visit him there?

It was such a wonderful vacation.

Oh, that's great to hear. I'm glad you had a good time.

How's the consulting going? Getting enough hours?

'suela, YES. I have to turn down work, actually. It's going exceedingly well. Thanks for asking (and I hope to see you in person soon!).

I haven't been yet, java. He's only been out there sort of temporarily a year and is in the process of moving permanently right now. He's on a ranch outside of Kerrville, his in-laws' place - I think their mailing address is Kerrville but they aren't in town.

Heh. He could be neighbors with my cousin! B lives outside of Kerrville, too.