I know. I'm so fucking blue...but there's a wife and little girl, and then I feel so heartbroken for them, too, adding more heartbroken to the heartbroken. I'm working on a little story for popgurls. I started writing it a couple of days ago for the broadcast of the RRHOF, and had to start rewriting. I think that's part of why I feel awful. I was writing this huge defense of my favorite band, and how important this was in rap, especially after all the shitty things that happened with Licensed to Ill, the horrible lyrics that were the world's unfunniest joke about women being worth little in Girls: "I wanna say a little something that's long overdue. The disrespect to women has got to be through. To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends, I wanna offer my love and respect to the end."
That was huge, and it was a sincere apology. Just really watching a group grow and mature. Later they used their time at the mic at the MTV VMAs to tell the audience that performers are responsible for the safety of their fans at shows. There had been rapes and sexual assaults at one of the festivals they played. They talked about violence against women, wrote a letter of apology to the Advocate for the homophobia on License to Ill, and just got better and better.
I think that's part of the huge hurt, that I felt like I grew up and became self-aware with them and their music.
I listen to them every day in the car, driving through Atwater where they had their LA studio, on my way home from work.