My parents were good parents but their paternal grandmothers were total bitches.

Seriously the only thing I heard nice about either of them is that my dad's grandmother was a good cook. Mom didn't want to be called Mom because that's what everyone called her grandmother. And "Mom" didn't have nice connotations. For example my grandfather visited "Mom" every evening. No matter what, he'd always go over and make sure she was okay and spend some time with her.

Except sometimes he'd go over and she wouldn't be there. She'd take a cab to the hospital because she wasn't sure if he'd come to check on her and she felt sick and didn't want to die alone.

Dad's paternal grandmother was just mean and petty and she'd totter along, clinging to someone, barely able to walk, complaining while she did about how frail she was and how hard it was to walk, etc. And then if she saw something or someone that interested her she'd let go and walk briskly to whatever it was.

Then when she was bored to go back to her "woe is me, I'm practically a cripple" routine.

I'm with a shirt I got when hanging out with a guy, long time ago. It's not his shirt, but the restauranteur gave us one both.

I imagine he doesn't still have it. NSYNC, call me!

I am with Aimee. I usually hug, and try to remember who doesn't, but am not always good at that.

Maybe you and I should just stand there and hug each other.

When Maria was here, when we first met up, we hugged, and then she asked, "Wait, is hugging okay?" (Which is very sweet, and I appreciated that.) The safe rule of thumb with me is that if I don't hesitate, if I make the open-arms huggy motion instead of keeping my arms welded by my side, I'm definitely good with it.

That said, I know it's ridiculous to expect people to have to stop and decipher my body language, and I need to just say right away that I'm fine with hugging (and/or ask them if they're fine with hugging).

We need a hugging handkerchief code. Or signs.

I believe we discussed a a detailed nametage system for f2fs, some years ago.

I'm reading along and nodding where appropriate, and learning from different experiences.

Pete said one of the saddest, creepiest things he's ever seen was on the night my mom was admitted to the ICU. We were in the waiting room with my dad, and whenever anyone else came into the waiting room (doctor, nurse, random stranger), my dad and I immediately switched on into "charming, set people at ease" mode. Neither of us were aware we were doing it, but we did.

Mom is like this. She's normally very cheerful and gregarious, and even when sick feels like she has to be that way for others even if the effort drains her and makes her feel worse. That's why my cousin and I had to stonewall non-family about visiting her in the hospital; with either of us (or Dad) she's comfortable enough to just rest and concentrate on recovering, but her friends would have worn her out from all the wearing a brave face.

I'm generally a hugger. Especially on saying good-bye more than hello.

I think I hugged Steph when I met her. I know there was ... other contact. Ahem.

That said, I know it's ridiculous to expect people to have to stop and decipher my body language, and I need to just say right away that I'm fine with hugging (and/or ask them if they're fine with hugging).

Eh, I don't know about that. Social cues go both ways. If someone's walking up with open arms and the other person doesn't make a move to hug back, don't hug them!