We need a hugging handkerchief code. Or signs.

I believe we discussed a a detailed nametage system for f2fs, some years ago.

I'm reading along and nodding where appropriate, and learning from different experiences.

Pete said one of the saddest, creepiest things he's ever seen was on the night my mom was admitted to the ICU. We were in the waiting room with my dad, and whenever anyone else came into the waiting room (doctor, nurse, random stranger), my dad and I immediately switched on into "charming, set people at ease" mode. Neither of us were aware we were doing it, but we did.

Mom is like this. She's normally very cheerful and gregarious, and even when sick feels like she has to be that way for others even if the effort drains her and makes her feel worse. That's why my cousin and I had to stonewall non-family about visiting her in the hospital; with either of us (or Dad) she's comfortable enough to just rest and concentrate on recovering, but her friends would have worn her out from all the wearing a brave face.

I'm generally a hugger. Especially on saying good-bye more than hello.

I think I hugged Steph when I met her. I know there was ... other contact. Ahem.

That said, I know it's ridiculous to expect people to have to stop and decipher my body language, and I need to just say right away that I'm fine with hugging (and/or ask them if they're fine with hugging).

Eh, I don't know about that. Social cues go both ways. If someone's walking up with open arms and the other person doesn't make a move to hug back, don't hug them!

I'm reading along and nodding where appropriate, and learning from different experiences.

Me too. Also, super grateful to my mom for explicitly telling me that any emotions I had were ok to feel and express or not express as I wanted. Good job, Mom.

Bok choy stir-fried with bacon, eggs, soy sauce and ginger is entirely delicious and probably healthy and, maybe most importantly, made a serious dent in my fresh produce haul from last week.

Ooh, that sounds good, too! I will remember for when I get bok choy.

Heh, just noticed that my tag is on topic!

I used to glom people all the time, it was part of my personality to hug. Hug=instant acceptance, you have to un-earn access to a hug by unacceptable behavior--and even then, if you're contrite about it, hug. But that was before I learned that hugs do make some people uncomfortable.

I'd held a correspondence with someone for years, exchanged most intimate information, cried on each other's metaphorical shoulders, been bulwarks for each other. And I knew that she had body-touching issues and hugs made her uncomfortable. So the first time we met, I beamed at her and bobbed in place and did everything but wriggle like a puppy to let her know how glad I was to finally meet her. And she reached out her arms and glommed me.

So, you just never know.

There were a couple of guys where I worked, back before the harrassment became a legal issue, there were a couple of guys who were very good at reading body language, and whose hugs were almost always welcome. And of course there was the guy who tried to do the same, and he always just felt...wrong. Nice guy, but not a natural hugger.

One of the conventions I attend every year has a sticker system people can use to indicate if they want to be hugged. (Green means yes, yellow means ask first and red means no)