I know Jilli hasn't read every post on the internet with the word "vampire" in it (that's a full time job)

There are times when it feels like it. But I hadn't seen that charity auction. Neat!

Happy Birthday, Teppy!

I'm feeling a little guilty about calling home. I usually do it Sunday after the ER, now that it's not every two days panic stations anymore. And that's low energy. I called this morning because I hadn't been able to get in touch on Mummy's birthday, and since I hadn't done anything yet, I had spoons.

I feel guilty when I call my dad too much or not enough. We've lost our old schedule and rhythm on the phone. It's mostly a duty thing currently. But the conversations aren't probably giving either of us a lot. We'll evolve that, I hope.

energetic root lock of the pelvic floor

Isn't that basically Kegels?

Happy birthday Steph!

Birthday Happies, Teppy!!

Oh, man, I'm going through stuff of my cousin's, and reading her old blog entries and...man I *hated* Detroit, and there's still some of that family I'm not talking to, but I love her to bits, and reading all this grownup stuff (I haven't lived with her since she graduated high school, but she is probably the person I've known over the most dynamically changing part of her life--I met her when she was 9 months old, and lived with her on and off between ages 6 and 16, pretty much.

And now she's big! Well, short, but big. And old. And at Wimbledon, and has a fiancée and a WTA ranking or two. And I'm reading her plotz about Navratilova, and it's all really overwhelming. Even my father, who prefers to stay out of my mother's family (uh, we crazy), is all excited about her, and the coach at his tennis club as asking how she's doing. Last time she was there, she donated tennis equipment to be given to kids coming up.

I'm so verklempt it's crazy. I have an "I'm related to Megan Moulton Levy" t-shirt (the whole family surprised her wearing them...Aspen New Year's 1999, if memory served) and I want to put it on and run around like a nutcase.

Which isn't to say I don't have a shitload of relatives that make me choke up (for good reasons). It's just a really Megna [sic] sort of a day right now.

. It's mostly a duty thing currently. But the conversations aren't probably giving either of us a lot. We'll evolve that, I hope.

I hope it does--the past six months got me much closer to my mother, and changed my life in a number of positive ways, even though I'd give it all back for her never to have been sick. The "face" I put on to cheer her up is really me, and it's one of the best sides of me, and this whole deal made me pull *that* ita ! out of my back pocket more, and for other people too. I'm still sick and whiny and in pain, but I know I can kick it up to eleven and exceed people's expectations in ways I honestly had no idea about before.

As I said, I'd rather it not have happened at all, but I'm looking to pull out as many things from the experience as possible that count in the positive column.

Isn't that basically Kegels?

I'd have thought that, but she says men can do it too--so that's something I never even asked myself.

Of course, she also says that increasing your sexual energy will enhance your environmental awareness, so I'm not exactly buying stock here.

I'd have thought that, but she says men can do it too

Well... men have those pelvic floor muscles too. Right?

men have those pelvic floor muscles too. Right?

I dunno? I know I'm using my cootchie when I do them. I don't know how integral a cervix is to the experience.