Happy Birthday, Plei! Remember, cake consumed on one's birthday has no calories, gluten, or sugar.
Javachik, others got there before me, but yeah, ACOA is Adult Children of Alcoholics - or addicts, or emotionally screwed-up barely-functioning people; the psychological profiles of their children tend to be similar. My sister has the "take control and make things work" personality; I have the "hide until it goes away" personality. And that's a very bad off-the-cuff explanation. Someone else can probably do it better, if you're interested.
KOA would be more fun.
I'm UVA-adjacent, both my nieces and a couple of my friends went there. I'm trying to ignore it all and stay calm, because it won't directly affect me after all, but I can hear Jefferson thrashing around in his grave.
My sister has the "take control and make things work" personality; I have the "hide until it goes away" personality.
Ahahaha, that's exactly the dynamic of me and my sister.
My sister has the "take control and make things work" personality; I have the "hide until it goes away" personality.
Ahahaha, that's exactly the dynamic of me and my sister.
That would be me and my brother.
Great video, Sue!
I am a classic ACOA. You might have noticed my desire to help. I've played Hero Child most of my life.
I am a classic ACOA. You might have noticed my desire to help. I've played Hero Child most of my life.
But I also rock the trait of I-will-do-this-thing-to-please-you-and-I-will-do-it-in-exactly-the-way-you-indicated-in-the-past-that-it-should-be-done-but-I-am-already-fully-expecting-you-to-change-your-mind-AFTER-I-do-it-and-so-I-am-braced-for-the-smackdown-that-will-result-from-me-doing-it-the-only-way-I-knew-to-be-correct.
Oh, yes. I will NEVER shake that trait, especially since I work for a dry drunk who pulls that shit all the time.
Much like Kate and the breastfeeding, I should have known I wasn't the only one! Discovering ACOA literally changed my life; it made everything make *sense*. (That, and discovering my father probably isn't my father, which explained a helluva lot of things.)
I think I fit some of that, from growing up with my mom being so sick. That's ... sort of enlightening.
I think I am the child of a ACOA. or something (although not alcohol.)
I think I fit some of that, from growing up with my mom being so sick. That's ... sort of enlightening.
You might, Amy. The common denominator is the child having to take on a parental role because the parent - for whatever reason - is not capable of taking charge. Because my big sister had already stepped into that role, I was able to just hide when things got bad, and things were usually bad. Enlightening is exactly what it was.
The common denominator is the child having to take on a parental role because the parent - for whatever reason - is not capable of taking charge.
And I'm the oldest child (of two) and a girl. And when things were really bad with Mom, all of Dad's attention was on her -- those were the times when he would let me take the car when I only had my permit, or forgot to come to school stuff because he was back and forth from the hospital or otherwise focused on Mom.
People pleaser, the need to help, so much of it fits. I'm not sure what to do with that, actually.
