I feel like a horrible person, but as I was thinking through ways to apologize to her, even if she didn't realize that I was pissed off, it all came back to "I'm sorry I get frustrated when you waste my time and don't listen to my answers when you ask me a question and instead talk over my answers". I keep coming back to the fact that she's the problem, and any attempt to remedy the problem will make her more of a problem, because I'll be agitating, stressing, and upsetting her.

I don't know if she even realizes that I fled because of her, and if it would be more harmful to drawing attention to that fact by apologizing, when in fact I have no regret for removing myself from a situation where I would have caused more grief by staying (by exploding and biting her head off).

Glad things went well with your presentation, Consuela.

Julie, I've been there, and I don't know that I have any good advice. Or that you actually want any. Just keep muttering "Focus, focus, focus," under your breath and see if that works. OK, maybe not.

Thanks for saying something, JZ, and my apologies for adding to it.

That's what I meant up there with my random post from phone, just to be clear. I should never phone post.

I had a lovely dinner with my bestie from Baltimore in Salisbury tonight. I miss her! Wah.

Cass! I am diving back in to Spooks, and I blame you. Thanks!

I always mention cuttlefish when I eat octopus! (People want to know the first-smartest invertebrate). Plus the late Immanuel Kat's nickname was "cuddlefish" for his tendency to look at you with just one eye on the side of his head.

ita !, what the hellacious.

Consuela, I'm glad that your boss recognizes your awesome.

I also apologize for chiming in. I will note that I backed away for my own mental health reasons (couldn't handle the anger), and it still makes me sad.

Juliebird, have you tried framing it as "different communicational styles?" Just a thought.

Plus the late Immanuel Kat's nickname was "cuddlefish" for his tendency to look at you with just one eye on the side of his head.

On first reading, I thought you typoed and left out an "n" and was trying to figure out how that would work. It was kind of funny. Then I remembered... cat.

I was so utterly pee-my-pants terrified to post that! I should have known to have more trust in the ability of Buffistas to be reflective and gracious and not tell me to fuck off, Jack. I do so dearly love this place and these people.

No, you did the right thing, and I'm ashamed of myself that I framed this conversation in my head, and then kind of said "No, not today" because I was in a crappy mood, and didn't think I'd frame it well.

smonster, I've only just recently come into frequent contact with this colleague, who suddenly became out volunteer coordinator, and now I have much more association with recently because of that. So, I've only just recently been frustrated with her on this scale so frequently, and so only just recently began contemplating how to address this with her. I'm terrible in conversation, terrible at any type of confrontation, as amicable as it might be, and can't articulate for shite. My gut reaction is that she'd stare at me quizzically about the "communicational styles" and make me repeat myself five different ways and then we'd have a five hour brainstorming session as she honestly tried to figure out where we were misfiring.

Whenever I think of cuttlefish, I think of beachy Mozambique, because that was when I made the connection between those things birds sharpened their beaks on with squid the night I had squid fresh from the ocean and the "sink" where they cleaned the food was littered with the cuttle-thingies. I had no idea. And l learned I think squid is a texture I Don't Do.

Juliebird, have you tried framing it as "different communicational styles?" Just a thought.

I was thinking something like that--don't say what you're thinking, but more "I know you like to talk things over, and I hope it doesn't bother you that I tend to prefer to process internally, and be somewhat more brief or even brusque in my communication. I like to focus on the question and answer directly, but I know there can be good points and new thoughts raised when we discuss a topic together. Blah blah email me more/talk to someone else" or something?