Xander: Just once I'd like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers. Anya: Great. Thank you very much for those nightmares.

'Sleeper'


Natter 69: Practically names itself.  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Strix - Oct 27, 2011 9:32:22 am PDT #3449 of 30001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

tommy, D and I moved in together after knowing each other for...7 months, and got married a little more than a year after meeting. I think one of the advantages of meeting someone when you're a little older is being able to decide when you are truly compatible or just thinking you are.

I mean, I did a fair amount of should-I-or-shouldn't-I here, but, really, it was over fairly quickly, and more from "EEP, I've never lived with a romantical type interest/Holy shit, marriage? WTFF?!" than "We'e not right for each other."


javachik - Oct 27, 2011 9:37:05 am PDT #3450 of 30001
Our wings are not tired.

javachik, reading about those women, I also wonder how many of them are actually happy in their marriages (or still married) now. I mean, I certainly hope they are; I don't wish them unhappiness. But I'd guess it's not uncommon for someone who really, really wants to get married NOW -- in other words, someone for whom the goal is "marriage," not "finding the right person" -- to end up marrying someone with whom they're not super happy or compatible, long-term.

I am still Facebook friends with most of them, and they're still married. Two of them I'm close enough with to know they're actually very genuinely happy.


askye - Oct 27, 2011 9:44:37 am PDT #3451 of 30001
Thrive to spite them

At the beginning of our relationship Will kind had reservations because how it might affect (effect?) me if we broke up. "I don't want to hurt you or cause you stress" that kind of thing.

I told him - if our relationship doesn't work out then it will be sad and I'll mourn the end of our relationship and cherish the time we had together but it won't break me.

Then when I told people at work I was moving I got a few comments like - but what if you move up there and then it doesn't work out? What will you do?

It would be sad and I'd figure out the next step, maybe stay in Vermont or move back to Florida or move somewhere else.

I also got asked when we were getting married. I don't know when that will happen, but it will and even though sometimes I want to happen Right noW! I'm not in too big of a rush.


Beverly - Oct 27, 2011 9:46:02 am PDT #3452 of 30001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

I was...19? Yeah. Had no idea who I wanted to be, let alone who I was. I had a whole career planned, a life without a SO, focused and single-minded. H snuck up on me, sandbagged me, and hard as I struggled for the better part of a year, the outcome was both foregone and inevitable.

We've been lucky enough to have life and growth paths relatively parallel--they do an outward curve--sometimes pretty far divergent--but eventually curve inward toward the other. I said years ago that neither of us is the person we married--though we carry that baggage, we both have changed and grown. But for the most part we've had the support, or the resistance--often as necessary--of the other.

I might have been happier if we'd parted at one of those overstressed and dislikeable points. But I'd be no stronger. And different. If I may quote: It ain't Ozzie and Harriet.


Connie Neil - Oct 27, 2011 9:48:03 am PDT #3453 of 30001
brillig

Hubby got evicted from his place a couple of months after we met, I offered him my floor to crash on. After a couple of weeks, it seemed very silly for him to leave the bed, and he's been there ever since. I never felt the need to get formally married to him, but landlords disagreed.


Fred Pete - Oct 27, 2011 9:48:51 am PDT #3454 of 30001
Ann, that's a ferret.

Hubs and I also moved in together about 7 months after we met. We've been together 22 years and, as I like to joke, we haven't killed each other yet.


Kathy A - Oct 27, 2011 9:52:34 am PDT #3455 of 30001
We're very stretchy. - Connie Neil

Kathy, IIRC, several Buffistas have skulked their way to foreign nookie while traveling with parents. IJS.

Heh.

Actually, I'd be terrified if I did anything more than dance and/or flirt with someone. I haven't been on a date nor slept with someone in, oh, 25 years.


Connie Neil - Oct 27, 2011 9:52:34 am PDT #3456 of 30001
brillig

we haven't killed each other yet.

Hubby and I tell people that we got married so as to spare two perfectly nice other people the fate of being married to one of us.

Also, we say, "We won't get divorced. One of us may be starring in a murder trial, but there won't be a divorce. One day the cops may show up and find a nasty mess and two cats hiding on top of the bookshelves."


flea - Oct 27, 2011 9:53:48 am PDT #3457 of 30001
information libertarian

Fred, how is hubs doing? He was in the hospital, right?


SuziQ - Oct 27, 2011 9:53:58 am PDT #3458 of 30001
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame

I feel like the complete opposite. I got married at 19, had 2 kids, a dog, even a frickin picket fence. It took a long time being unhappy before I finally accepted the idea that I didn't have to stay in that relationship. I'm much happier now though I do get waves of loneliness. As much as I'd like to meet someone, I think I'm still in that rebuilding me stage and am not really ready. Who knows. Only time will tell.