That seems like a stunt, and sarcasm to me.

it is his type of humor, yes?

DH sent that article to me . I thought it was all rambly at the beginning - so I am in the camp that says it needed an editor. I didn't even understand where it was going at first. Her conclusion was valid - and I guess it is one of those things you have to come to a conclusion like that on your own

and I like what Burrell said - a reevaluation of you want/need in a partner. One of th e words I hear a lot is 'successful' . I think the word is both vague and loaded. What I wanted was someone with a similar value for work. and Matt and I are well matched in that area. We also both read a lot. I don't think anyone else I dated had both of those . I would have had a hard time articulating the first until my late 20s - but I knew when i wasn't there

didn't read the Atlantic piece, but I do see being single as a choice and not one I feel much stigma about, but then I don't feel much stigma.

From earlier, I do see having children as a choice and I kinda get where the wanting a tax break lady was coming from. Clearly equating children with commodities is wrong on so many levels, but then again I've had people near and dear to me compare adopting mac to getting a dog from the pound with unknown issues and probable behavior problems.

ouch , msbelle.

I see kids as possibly being a part of a series of complex decisions and circumstances ( at least in he first world) but not quite as simple as a choice.

ma~~ to all in need

I never really thought out what I wanted in a man, and on a rational basis Hubby probably is not on the recommended list--especially taking hindsight into account. But I need him on a cellular level. When I'm scared out of my wits and I can't decide what to do, the primal drive that moves me is "Find him." And when he needs me, I will--and have--challenged any authority figure in my way to get to him.

I've been preparing myself for years for the day when I won't have him any longer. The odds of me getting a golden wedding anniversary are low. When I'm ruthlessly logical, I can see a lot of areas where a lot of work should be done, but down in the brainstem, the she-wolf doesn't contemplate a world without her mate.

oh msbelle, that comment makes me so angry on your behalf, I mean yours and mac's.

Pets and cars, two things that children aren't. Funny how language works. I rely on analogy quite a bit to comprehend things around me, but I'm suddenly seeing how flawed it can be.

never doubt that I called them on it. shaming was involved. I judge.

I don't really see being single as a choice... I do get the concept, but I personally don't know another way to be.

Aw, Connie. I am a sucker for wolf analogies.

This would make a fine buffista t-shirt.

I love Basic Instructions! Quality comic, yo.

I never really thought out what I wanted in a man

I didn't, either, beyond, "Loves me for me, rather than tolerates my company despite the several things he wants to change about me." But I didn't think men like that actually existed; or, if they did, I didn't think that *I* was worthy of a man like that.

So Tim really caught me off guard by loving all of me, including the weird parts, the quirky parts, the unloveable parts, the parts that every man before tried to change about me. He caught me totally off guard, and I didn't see him coming until it was too late and I already loved him, too.

Only once, early on, did he express concern that *he* isn't what he thought *I* might want in a guy -- he doesn't read the way I do (or very much at all, really), he doesn't devour pop culture in huge gulps and assimilate it, and he isn't urbane and (he feels) witty.

I never *said* to him that's what I wanted in a man, although I suppose I kind of assumed that's the type of man I would end up with. But the thing is, I've been with those types of men, but *I* was never right for them, for varying reasons, and they tried to change me. (And, being a people-pleaser, I really tried to change. Oh, how I tried. And it damaged my soul in so many places, for a very long time.)

But the thing is, Tim might not be what I thought I *wanted,* but he turned out to be everything I didn't know I *needed.* If that makes sense.

I had pretty much resigned myself to being single for the rest of my life, because I wasn't going to keep trying to change for a man on the chance that *maybe* then he'd love me. Tim...he is my great, good surprise, and my utter, utter joy.

t edit I am hopped up on migraine meds, and therefore rambling without the benefit of an internal editor. Hope that wasn't ridic or gushy.