This would make a fine buffista t-shirt.

I love Basic Instructions! Quality comic, yo.

I never really thought out what I wanted in a man

I didn't, either, beyond, "Loves me for me, rather than tolerates my company despite the several things he wants to change about me." But I didn't think men like that actually existed; or, if they did, I didn't think that *I* was worthy of a man like that.

So Tim really caught me off guard by loving all of me, including the weird parts, the quirky parts, the unloveable parts, the parts that every man before tried to change about me. He caught me totally off guard, and I didn't see him coming until it was too late and I already loved him, too.

Only once, early on, did he express concern that *he* isn't what he thought *I* might want in a guy -- he doesn't read the way I do (or very much at all, really), he doesn't devour pop culture in huge gulps and assimilate it, and he isn't urbane and (he feels) witty.

I never *said* to him that's what I wanted in a man, although I suppose I kind of assumed that's the type of man I would end up with. But the thing is, I've been with those types of men, but *I* was never right for them, for varying reasons, and they tried to change me. (And, being a people-pleaser, I really tried to change. Oh, how I tried. And it damaged my soul in so many places, for a very long time.)

But the thing is, Tim might not be what I thought I *wanted,* but he turned out to be everything I didn't know I *needed.* If that makes sense.

I had pretty much resigned myself to being single for the rest of my life, because I wasn't going to keep trying to change for a man on the chance that *maybe* then he'd love me. Tim...he is my great, good surprise, and my utter, utter joy.

t edit I am hopped up on migraine meds, and therefore rambling without the benefit of an internal editor. Hope that wasn't ridic or gushy.

At work before 7:30. This is wrong, somehow.

Steph, I can't begin to express how happy I am that you found Tim. Watching your relationship blossom from afar has been a great pleasure.

sarameg, sorry about the early morning work shift!

I forgot I was supposed to be at work at 8:30, so now I won't. Oh well.

Not gushy, Tep. Just eloquent and beautiful.

Another little quake just a couple of minutes ago -- were any other Bayistas awake to feel it?

never doubt that I called them on it. shaming was involved. I judge.

I almost wish throat punching had been involved. Grrr.

Having a children is a choice (for most) but since it involves creating a future not only for the new humans but the ones who will eventually depend on them for care and leadership, I say the people who are building that future are the ones taking the hit for Team Humanity.

The child-free movement and those desiring a tax break for their choice get their benefit from more sleep, less stress and the freedom that comes from not having to wipe noses and asses for years.

In other words: Suck it up and be The Village.

All of these earthquakes, in the same location in Berkeley, every day? Obviously the work of a Mad Scientist.

isn't supposed to be a good thing? the fault letting out some pressure?

Having a children is a choice (for most)

For the kind of people who are bitching about taxes on the internet, yes. But I would continue to argue that the ability to choose the size and shape of one's family is a first-world luxury - I do not think "most" women have access to the reproductive freedom choices that I do.

unfortunately there are those who want to take it away from us in this country too.