That's such a relief, Maria!
Bye, now. Have good sex.
Kaylee ,'Jaynestown'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
sj - Mar 12, 2012 3:16:59 pm PDT #9559 of 30001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
lisah - Mar 12, 2012 3:17:31 pm PDT #9560 of 30001
Punishingly Intricate
woohoo benign!!!
juliana - Mar 12, 2012 3:18:41 pm PDT #9561 of 30001
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight…
YAY BENIGN! So glad to hear it, Maria.
Calli - Mar 12, 2012 3:51:49 pm PDT #9562 of 30001
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
That's great news, Maria!
And what lovely pictures, Juliana--thanks for sharing them.
Stephanie - Mar 12, 2012 3:54:55 pm PDT #9563 of 30001
Trust my rage
Maria, that's great news.
You guys, I could use some hairpats. Or at least confirmation that I'm not a terrible person. Wednesday is the final divorce hearing with the judge - the thing where we each testify about what we want from the settlement and so on. I have truly tried to resolve this before now but have been met with silence from the other side at every step.
While I want the kids to see him, I think they are too little for 50/50 given our situation, which is what he says he wants.
And so I had kept this journal the last few months about all the stuff he did wrong - being late, not showing up, etc. Stuff he said to me. It made me feel better to write it down knowing no one would read it. It was all true, but maybe not very nice or kind. And I gave it to my lawyers - the original version and a more neutral, child care focused calendar. And, of course, they gave the unguarded version to the court as evidence.
I know I didn't do anything wrong and it was all true and it goes to the matter being decided so it's needed. But in my heart, I feel sick. He's going to hate me forever.
meara - Mar 12, 2012 4:01:40 pm PDT #9564 of 30001
Aww, you are not terrible. And he may still hate you, because he's like that and there's a reason you're divorcing. But couldn't it in theory be revisited when the kids are older? (Or if he gets deployed again and they have to stay with you 100% for a while?)
Zenkitty - Mar 12, 2012 4:13:22 pm PDT #9565 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
Stephanie, you didn't do anything wrong. You wrote down the truth, and you gave a "nicer" version to the lawyers. It was their choice to use the unguarded version, and maybe they thought that was best. If he going to hate you, he just is, regardless of what you said about him; he'd come up with reasons no matter how nice you tried to be. I hope this all works out for the best, for the kids and for you.
Stephanie - Mar 12, 2012 4:13:30 pm PDT #9566 of 30001
Trust my rage
Yeah you are right. About everything actually.
Just like you can't make someone like you, I guess you can't stop them from hating you.
But I've always tried to live my life being kind to others. And it hurts to fail. But yeah, it's not all over.
Zenkitty - Mar 12, 2012 4:18:47 pm PDT #9567 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
You didn't fail. You were as kind as you could be. One of my toughest life lessons was learning that "being kind to others" isn't the same thing as "having people like you and try to understand you." It hurts when you try your best and they're still mean and angry, but that's not your fault.
sumi - Mar 12, 2012 4:21:36 pm PDT #9568 of 30001
Art Crawl!!!
Maria - thank goodness.
Juliana- what a lovely wedding you had! You two look so happy.
billytea - Ryan is such a lovely boy. What a pleasure to see him.
Stephanie - you did your best and you gave the attorneys the nice option. Let's face it: the future of your children is worth it.