YAY BENIGN! So glad to hear it, Maria.

That's great news, Maria!

And what lovely pictures, Juliana--thanks for sharing them.

Maria, that's great news.

You guys, I could use some hairpats. Or at least confirmation that I'm not a terrible person. Wednesday is the final divorce hearing with the judge - the thing where we each testify about what we want from the settlement and so on. I have truly tried to resolve this before now but have been met with silence from the other side at every step.

While I want the kids to see him, I think they are too little for 50/50 given our situation, which is what he says he wants.

And so I had kept this journal the last few months about all the stuff he did wrong - being late, not showing up, etc. Stuff he said to me. It made me feel better to write it down knowing no one would read it. It was all true, but maybe not very nice or kind. And I gave it to my lawyers - the original version and a more neutral, child care focused calendar. And, of course, they gave the unguarded version to the court as evidence.

I know I didn't do anything wrong and it was all true and it goes to the matter being decided so it's needed. But in my heart, I feel sick. He's going to hate me forever.

Aww, you are not terrible. And he may still hate you, because he's like that and there's a reason you're divorcing. But couldn't it in theory be revisited when the kids are older? (Or if he gets deployed again and they have to stay with you 100% for a while?)

Stephanie, you didn't do anything wrong. You wrote down the truth, and you gave a "nicer" version to the lawyers. It was their choice to use the unguarded version, and maybe they thought that was best. If he going to hate you, he just is, regardless of what you said about him; he'd come up with reasons no matter how nice you tried to be. I hope this all works out for the best, for the kids and for you.

Yeah you are right. About everything actually.

Just like you can't make someone like you, I guess you can't stop them from hating you.

But I've always tried to live my life being kind to others. And it hurts to fail. But yeah, it's not all over.

You didn't fail. You were as kind as you could be. One of my toughest life lessons was learning that "being kind to others" isn't the same thing as "having people like you and try to understand you." It hurts when you try your best and they're still mean and angry, but that's not your fault.

Maria - thank goodness.

Juliana- what a lovely wedding you had! You two look so happy.

billytea - Ryan is such a lovely boy. What a pleasure to see him.

Stephanie - you did your best and you gave the attorneys the nice option. Let's face it: the future of your children is worth it.

Maria,

blessings. thanks for sharing the results.

My aunt phoned earlier this evening: guess what?

Her older sister (my other aunt on my father's side of the family) has diverticulosis.. .or whatever it's called. Of course, in her case they moved a large piece of her colon and she was fine.