{{{Maria}}} Love, I ache for you. I wish I could make it all better, but life just sucks beyond the telling in so many ways. -t has wise advice and I'm sorry you and she are learning and sharing in this wisdom in such a brutal way.
You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport. Yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?
Early ,'Objects In Space'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
ChiKat - Feb 14, 2012 3:52:19 am PST #7327 of 30001
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?
le nubian - Feb 14, 2012 3:52:47 am PST #7328 of 30001
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."
do you have a friend or family member who can be with you physically? We aren't supposed to do this by ourselves.
We haven't for hundreds of thousands of years.
We need other people to help us pick up the pieces, help us with the mundane.
ChiKat - Feb 14, 2012 3:53:09 am PST #7329 of 30001
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?
Bella, you don't have to know how. Just do what you need to to get through the next minute.
Sparky1 - Feb 14, 2012 4:02:17 am PST #7330 of 30001
Librarian Warlord
Breathe in / breathe out. That's all you need to to right now, Maria. Otherwise, let other people take care of you.
Topic!Cindy - Feb 14, 2012 4:11:01 am PST #7331 of 30001
What is even happening?
Maria please -- what everyone else said about it not being your fault. You know who I fight most with? Scott, my kids, and my mother. You know who I love the most? Scott, my kids, and my mother. You know who I never fight with? The meter reader. It's a correlation, not a coincidence. What -t said, too.
Did you get any sleep, at all? Are your parents home with you?
JZ - Feb 14, 2012 4:11:09 am PST #7332 of 30001
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.
We're here. We have your back, and your front, and all the sides of you and your heart. All the corners and sharp places and broken shards. Even if we can't do anything at all but be here, we will not stop being here. This minute, and the next, and the next. All you have to think about is getting from this minute to the next one, and one of us will be there (literally every single minute -- between our different time zones and all the insomnia I'm pretty sure we have you covered around the clock).
Also, -t is deeply wise.
eta: So is Cindy.
sj - Feb 14, 2012 4:25:06 am PST #7333 of 30001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
{{{{{Maria}}}}} There a just no words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I'm glad you have your family there, and if you need anything at all, please let us know. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
smonster - Feb 14, 2012 4:29:15 am PST #7334 of 30001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.
Beaming all my love to you, Maria, Care Bear Stare-style. Whatever you need to say that you may feel you can't say, you can say it here. We love you. Giving up on you is so ridiculous a thought that I don't even know what it would mean. I wish I could be there for hugs and cuddles and tears, but I hope you can feel some measure of the love and support we have for you.
Hil R. - Feb 14, 2012 4:32:23 am PST #7335 of 30001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
Maria - I'm around if you want to talk or just sit -
What Sox said.
Liese S. - Feb 14, 2012 4:34:44 am PST #7336 of 30001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."
Yup, what JZ Said. And yeah, totally happy about that insomnia right now because it meant I could be there for you. Yay for buffistas all over.
But yes, it hurts and it's gonna hurt, and in addition to -t's excellent advice, I'll add that everyone will be telling you things to do or think or feel for the next while and you should feel able to blissfully ignore all or any of them, including us. Only you know what's happening in your heart or head and no one can tell you otherwise. But yes, like the wise lady said, we're here, so lean.