WS, we are one in body hatred, although mine is more about my disability than my weight on most days, but weight is becoming more and more an issue to me. In previous appointments my therapist was shocked at how strong my body hatred is.

I actually don't hate my body, although I kind of feel about it like I do our house: man, it needs some work, and with some effort, it could be delightful. Not perfect, not a magazine-worthy showplace, but pretty delightful for my needs. But I don't hate it.

What I'm having a harder and harder time with, though, is how many other people hate it, simply because it's large. People who don't even know me, and are utterly hateful about just the poorly defined idea of "fat." It actually kind of scares me.

I seem to have some weird, reverse body dysmorphia.

When I was actually at my right weight (which is about 25lb more than the charts say I should be), I felt fat.

Now that I'm 25lbs over my right weight, I don't much care...except for the clothes and energy issues.

Sigh.

In previous appointments my therapist was shocked at how strong my body hatred is.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Well, Ok, maybe the world would be a better place if greedy capitalist power-hungry madmen were so consumed with self-loathing they couldn't spare the energy for taking over the world.

And now, Bitches style, I am laughing at both the sad state of the world, and at my own snark.

Huh.

WS, I love that thought.

Remember when people wouldn't use the handicapped stalls in bathrooms unless they were handicapped, had a small child with them, or there were no other stalls available? Well based on my recent experiences, those days are over.

I used to wish I was "just" fat, because it seemed so much more fixable than this other bullshit. But I was young and stupid then, and thought those "After" makeovers were actually awesome. And I also didn't realize what a gift I have in a quick metabolic rate that I haven't learned to doubt because of all my diets/food compulsions.ETA: I learned a lot about women and weight once I stopped letting TV be my mirror on the world so much...it's, of course, in their interest to tell us that worrying about every crumb is living simply. And, of course, people like me talk about parking spaces, period.

I actually don't hate my body, although I kind of feel about it like I do our house: man, it needs some work, and with some effort, it could be delightful. Not perfect, not a magazine-worthy showplace, but pretty delightful for my needs. But I don't hate it.

What I'm having a harder and harder time with, though, is how many other people hate it, simply because it's large. People who don't even know me, and are utterly hateful about just the poorly defined idea of "fat." It actually kind of scares me.

So very much this.

And now, Bitches style, I am laughing at both the sad state of the world, and at my own snark.

Loves WS

Loving on both Windsparrow and sj. Wishing it was better.

Gut flora as Kaylee is perfect. I've been paying more attention to feeding Kaylee lately too.

I don't hate my body, but I don't much like what I see in the mirror. Maybe I'm just in denial, and I still believe that the me in my head is the real me, not the mirror-me. Seeing myself in photographs is always shocking, every time. OMG I'm fat! Yeah, surprise, that's not a new situation, Self.

Sometimes I wonder if it still counts as dysmorphia if shitloads of people agree with me. Maybe that's really a bullshit consensus.