And I'm totally whining. Which just feeds into it. Buck up and deal.
Angel: Yeah, I never told anyone about this, but I-I liked your poems. Spike: You like Barry Manilow.
'Hell Bound'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Maria - Apr 24, 2013 8:55:13 am PDT #29289 of 30001
Not so nice is that I'm about to ruin a Friday morning for a bunch of people because of a series of unfortunate events and an upset foreign government. - shrift
Connie Neil - Apr 24, 2013 8:59:04 am PDT #29290 of 30001
brillig
Whining is like draining the nasty muck out of the bottom of the water heater. It needs to be done and it's icky, but you have to do it to clean things out.
Beverly - Apr 24, 2013 9:07:51 am PDT #29291 of 30001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
So do it here, where we don't mind, and can maybe help a little. You are definitely loveable (met you, once upon a time. Loveable, I can vouch), and loved. Loved both for reason, and just because you're Maria.
DavidS - Apr 24, 2013 9:09:39 am PDT #29292 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
And I'm totally whining. Which just feeds into it. Buck up and deal.
You've been doing a lot of bucking up and dealing lately, and moving forward. There's no shame in feeling weary of it, or wanting to be further along.
Moving is absolutely the right thing to do. You won't be coming back to the same empty house, haunted with memories.
You've already physically changed yourself, and become much stronger.
You are loved.
Steph L. - Apr 24, 2013 9:11:55 am PDT #29293 of 30001
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe
That's a lot of complicated stuff in your brain. It's better to talk about it than to keep it inside and create an insano feedback loop. Because that feedback loop? Is not your friend.
Maria - Apr 24, 2013 9:18:48 am PDT #29294 of 30001
Not so nice is that I'm about to ruin a Friday morning for a bunch of people because of a series of unfortunate events and an upset foreign government. - shrift
I hate this. Makes me feel weak. And exposing it makes me feel vulnerable.
I am no inspiration, for anything or anyone. I can barely keep my own shit together. I've been fooling everyone, it feels like.
Sue - Apr 24, 2013 9:25:45 am PDT #29295 of 30001
hip deep in pie
Maria, change is really fucking hard. Even good changes can knock you for a loop. Of course you are going to have days full of doubt. Part of that is normal fears trying to get you to stay where you are. Inertia is easy. Just tell inertia to fuck off and keep on moving forward. Those voices will get fainter.
Signed, Inertia is my own worst enemy
sj - Apr 24, 2013 9:26:28 am PDT #29296 of 30001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Maria, you are not any of the awful things that you're telling yourself you are. You are a wonderful, strong, and loveable person.
DavidS - Apr 24, 2013 9:26:30 am PDT #29297 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
I hate this. Makes me feel weak. And exposing it makes me feel vulnerable.
Vulnerability isn't weakness. And you are safe here.
I am no inspiration, for anything or anyone. I can barely keep my own shit together. I've been fooling everyone, it feels like.
Sometimes you fake it until you make it. You've been pushing and pushing forward. I don't know where the "fooling" is coming from - you've been very honest about what you're dealing with.
Sometimes you need to let your inner drill instructor have a day off. Try to get out of your head and out of your house.
Steph L. - Apr 24, 2013 9:26:57 am PDT #29298 of 30001
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe
And exposing it makes me feel vulnerable.
Exposing anything *is* vulnerable, so you're right. But this is a safe place to be vulnerable, if that helps, even a little.