I tell my students to address me as Dr., but a lot of them send me emails addressed to Ms. or Mrs. anyway. I don't get Miss that often, but Mrs. pretty frequently.

I am straight up the worst person to plan a wedding in the history of people planning weddings.

You found someone to marry, right? That's the main thing! Everything else is just whatever details suit your style, budget, temperment, etc. Have you checked out Offbeat Bride at all? If for nothing else then to see there are a bazillion ways to have a wedding (or not, if that's what you want)!

I never really thought seriously about changing my name and Bob certainly didn't care one way or the other. His mom was a tiny bit snide about it once. I was like "I've had this name for 40+ years, I don't see reason to change it now."

Have you checked out Offbeat Bride at all?

Oh yeah. That and APW are the only wedding blogs I will look at. We were at B&N last night, and I walked past the rack of wedding magazines without even picking them up.

The offbeat bride lady's book was actually really helpful for me too. I don't think I ever picked up a mainstream bridal mag either. And my wedding ended up with two wedded people and nobody in the hospital or jail!

"What do you want for your wedding?" "Legal," I said. I was overruled.

edit: And yes, it was my wedding, I should have what I want, blah blah, but I didn't want to start my married life in a warzone.

Amych, so what did you do for a wedding?

Tep,

If you plan to take a loan to buy a car you should refi first. Mortgage people look at all of your debts.

so what did you do for a wedding?

Took the following Tuesday off, rounded up two friends with flexible work schedules to be witnesses, went to city hall, and bought the friends lunch afterwards. Oh, and posted in Beep Me. We followed up with a party/reception/thing a month or so later, but without any particular wedding trappings.

If you plan to take a loan to buy a car you should refi first. Mortgage people look at all of your debts.

We have to figure out if the refi will be worth the closing costs. This is complicated and totally unfamiliar to me (I've always rented, and Tim bought this house long before I met him, and I always just pay him rent). I need to start familiarizing myself with mortgage-y stuff.

We followed up with a party/reception/thing a month or so later, but without any particular wedding trappings.

Because Tim's family is so huge, and because my dad's family is so huge, and because our guest list is immediate family only, it's looking like his side of the family is going to throw us a big party after the wedding, and my dad's family is going to do the same. Both of which I'm very grateful for, but damn if that isn't a lot of people.

Tep,

FYI it needn't be complicated. Many mortgage brokers can give you an estimate of closing costs etc. pull your credit reports first to see if everything is decent, look at some rate comparisons and ask for a full estimate of costs.

IMO it is way less hassle than taxes. Initially.

I had a courthouse wedding, in the gazebo of the courthouse with a judge who looked like Stan Lee. All the dogwood, redbud and magnolia trees were blooming and it was a warm, sunny April afternoon. I wore a hot pink Ann Taylor dress, and carried a bouquet made by my supermarket.

Then my family and several friends had tapas and sangria, and then we went sans family + more friends to a local bar. Then we went home.

Still haven't a ring or a honeymoon, but we are just as married, and it was a lovely day.