The offbeat bride lady's book was actually really helpful for me too. I don't think I ever picked up a mainstream bridal mag either. And my wedding ended up with two wedded people and nobody in the hospital or jail!

"What do you want for your wedding?" "Legal," I said. I was overruled.

edit: And yes, it was my wedding, I should have what I want, blah blah, but I didn't want to start my married life in a warzone.

Amych, so what did you do for a wedding?

Tep,

If you plan to take a loan to buy a car you should refi first. Mortgage people look at all of your debts.

so what did you do for a wedding?

Took the following Tuesday off, rounded up two friends with flexible work schedules to be witnesses, went to city hall, and bought the friends lunch afterwards. Oh, and posted in Beep Me. We followed up with a party/reception/thing a month or so later, but without any particular wedding trappings.

If you plan to take a loan to buy a car you should refi first. Mortgage people look at all of your debts.

We have to figure out if the refi will be worth the closing costs. This is complicated and totally unfamiliar to me (I've always rented, and Tim bought this house long before I met him, and I always just pay him rent). I need to start familiarizing myself with mortgage-y stuff.

We followed up with a party/reception/thing a month or so later, but without any particular wedding trappings.

Because Tim's family is so huge, and because my dad's family is so huge, and because our guest list is immediate family only, it's looking like his side of the family is going to throw us a big party after the wedding, and my dad's family is going to do the same. Both of which I'm very grateful for, but damn if that isn't a lot of people.

Tep,

FYI it needn't be complicated. Many mortgage brokers can give you an estimate of closing costs etc. pull your credit reports first to see if everything is decent, look at some rate comparisons and ask for a full estimate of costs.

IMO it is way less hassle than taxes. Initially.

I had a courthouse wedding, in the gazebo of the courthouse with a judge who looked like Stan Lee. All the dogwood, redbud and magnolia trees were blooming and it was a warm, sunny April afternoon. I wore a hot pink Ann Taylor dress, and carried a bouquet made by my supermarket.

Then my family and several friends had tapas and sangria, and then we went sans family + more friends to a local bar. Then we went home.

Still haven't a ring or a honeymoon, but we are just as married, and it was a lovely day.

FYI it needn't be complicated. Many mortgage brokers can give you an estimate of closing costs etc. pull your credit reports first to see if everything is decent, look at some rate comparisons and ask for a full estimate of costs.

I'm just wondering whether we need to be married for my (excellent) credit score to have an impact on the refi, or if being engaged is enough.

carried a bouquet made by my supermarket.

I'm totally making my bouquet (and Tim's boutonniere) from supermarket roses. (But I'm paranoid, so I'm doing a test bouquet before the wedding. Like, months before.) We don't have a wedding party, so there are no other bouquets/boutonnieres to worry about, and we aren't doing flower arrangements on the tables, so flowers are not an issue.

Like I said, lazy and efficient. C'est moi.

Marriage does not have any bearing. However, you will need to be on the title for the house. The only reason to wait to start the process is 1) interest rates - but I have no idea what they are doing.

2) for your name change if it is coming.

I wasn't going to do real flowers at all but I have a friend who is a (really very fancy) florist in Belgium who couldn't make it for the wedding and, as a present, he got the florist who he'd interned with here to do flowers for us. It didn't really come together until kind of the last minute so I'd also had a friend's sister make a paper flower bouquet. I still have that and it's still gorgeous. The real flowers were very lovely too but not something I would have spent money on if I had had to pay for them myself. Oh! And another friend who couldn't make it send leis from her home in Hawaii. So nice and, again, not something I would have thought of doing myself.