se it is not an easy or compact answer. I, personally, always make them default to Ms because it stops defining me as virgin or property.

Yep, this. And it's super personal for me; I have a "Ms. Taylor" nameplate from when my mom made this change in the 70s (she was also one of the first teachers at her school to -- gasp -- wear pant suits). I always have to teach my students what Miss/Mrs/Ms mean and why it's important to me.

Tep, no right way. Just do it your way. It will be great.

Dress that isn't an actual wedding gown? Hell yes, if it means I can pee without 3 women helping me maneuver the dress/bustle/crinolines/whatnot!

I imagine it's much like trying to maneuver a full Elizabethan gown with corset, hoops and twelve yards of skirt in a modern public restroom stall. Few things were as troubling as realizing, far too late, "I cannot reach around all this stuff to wipe."

The handicapped stalls were very popular.

Though, to be fair, the men who hadn't thought ahead of time how they were going to manage the hose and doublets were amusing. As were the remarks of, "My lord, what did you think the codpiece was actually for?"

I have a "Ms. Taylor" nameplate from when my mom made this change in the 70s (she was also one of the first teachers at her school to -- gasp -- wear pant suits).

Ms. Taylor...I'm sure no relation...was one of my favorite, most influencial teachers. 4th Grade.

She influenced my love of writing and was one of the first people to _convince me_ that someone believed in me.

Man. I loved her and can still remember her face to this day.

Incidentally, I was the first girl child to wear trousers in my school district. One of four decent things my father did for me. (Besides threatening to burn the school down for tying me up in 2nd grade.) Back then, they had 'Apache skirts', which was the solution the school compromised on. Trousers with a piece of material on the front and back.

I don't need sympathy really, but Cagney actually made me cry this morning. I don't know if I can do this, despite loving him. Some days, it just doesn't seem worth it.

For such a beautiful day, I wish I was in a better frame of mind. Sigh.

I tell my students to address me as Dr., but a lot of them send me emails addressed to Ms. or Mrs. anyway. I don't get Miss that often, but Mrs. pretty frequently.

I am straight up the worst person to plan a wedding in the history of people planning weddings.

You found someone to marry, right? That's the main thing! Everything else is just whatever details suit your style, budget, temperment, etc. Have you checked out Offbeat Bride at all? If for nothing else then to see there are a bazillion ways to have a wedding (or not, if that's what you want)!

I never really thought seriously about changing my name and Bob certainly didn't care one way or the other. His mom was a tiny bit snide about it once. I was like "I've had this name for 40+ years, I don't see reason to change it now."

Have you checked out Offbeat Bride at all?

Oh yeah. That and APW are the only wedding blogs I will look at. We were at B&N last night, and I walked past the rack of wedding magazines without even picking them up.

The offbeat bride lady's book was actually really helpful for me too. I don't think I ever picked up a mainstream bridal mag either. And my wedding ended up with two wedded people and nobody in the hospital or jail!

"What do you want for your wedding?" "Legal," I said. I was overruled.

edit: And yes, it was my wedding, I should have what I want, blah blah, but I didn't want to start my married life in a warzone.

Amych, so what did you do for a wedding?

Tep,

If you plan to take a loan to buy a car you should refi first. Mortgage people look at all of your debts.

so what did you do for a wedding?

Took the following Tuesday off, rounded up two friends with flexible work schedules to be witnesses, went to city hall, and bought the friends lunch afterwards. Oh, and posted in Beep Me. We followed up with a party/reception/thing a month or so later, but without any particular wedding trappings.