Had the meeting. Program manager is leaving for family reasons, effective at the end of the month. I think it's all going to be okay, though three other employees have recently given notice. I think it's all just burn out, needing more money, and a coincidence, and not a sinking ship situation. But who knows. My supervisor is talking to the program mgr right now, I'll check in with him later.

{{{bonny and Bartleby}}}} All kinds of love and ~ma sent to you.

Oh, damn. I don't even know how I got there, but this article on Oprah's website (of all places) is kind of kicking my ass right now.

Somewhere deep inside of me I knew that if 100 percent Pam was really starting to piss Randy off, then maybe 60 percent Pam would piss him off less. I didn't articulate that to myself, and the fact that I didn't scares me. I shut myself down incrementally without being forced or even asked.

[link] (warning - anyone who's got an ill pet may not want to read this right now)

Fuuuuck. I do this, again and again, without realizing it consciously. I make myself smaller, I bend and contort to fit into other peoples' live. Must keep working on not doing that.

I bend and contort to fit into other peoples' live.

I have always, *always* done that. I let people tell me what I should be, what I should do, what I should *want* -- and then I do that.

I'm way better at not doing it now, but I do still do it. I catch myself doing it far too often.

So, I feel you.

smonster, Teppy, and the rest of you, I really like you at 100% even when you piss me off.

So my bestest GF is drinking wine with me watching the Cain harassment news stuff and she says, so what man over 25 hasn't been accused of harassment. Um, almost every man in my life. Chica, you are totally hanging around with the wrong men. She constantly encounters it and accepts it as par for the course. Not! I got ranty with her. (not the first time) Don't tell me this stuff happens all the time. Make it stop.

eta: just for clarity, this was last evening, not drinking wine at this hour

I used to work at a place where one of the men used sexual innuendo and "jokes" to cut down women. The people in charge knew. At one point we had a "peer review" where a team of people from the industry came in, went through our business practices, etc., and evaluated them. In their report they warned that this guy was a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen ... and the administrators did nothing. Some places the misogyny is so deeply embedded, and the fear of reprisals so great, that you live with it. And move on when possible.

just for clarity, this was last evening, not drinking wine at this hour

Damn, and I was just thinking, "I want to go to there... right now!"

Sitting with Laura, with or without wine, is always a good thing.

I would make an exception and happily drink wine with you at any hour, Jen!

(obviously, chopped liver ... with no wine)