OK, here's a question for the hivemind: I'm 35. I'll be 36 in August. In theory, I would really like to have kids. However, that theory involves having a partner--I really don't think I'm interested in being a single parent. I'd rather be the fabulous auntie and travel the world, if it comes to that, I think. But given my age, I'm thinking that even if I met someone soon (heck, if I settled down with the young'un I'm seeing (yes, I'm still seeing her)), by the time we got serious and wanted babies, I'd be seriously old to be having good eggs.

So the question is: do I try to freeze my eggs? From everything I've read, it's not that crazy a procedure anymore, but the big thing is, it's hella expensive. While I could afford it, it would put a harsh crimp on my emergency funds. And what if I don't meet anyone? Then have I spent five figures on something I don't need? But if I did meet someone and it was too late, how glad would I be that I had some backup? I...just don't know. (This is all of course assuming that even my current eggs are semi-decent, which is not a given). I'm also assuming in this scenario that my partner would likely either also be old, or be unwilling to carry a baby (given the sort of people I tend to date).

So. Hivemind thoughts?

meara, how old was your mom when she had you? Your sister? How about her mom? Any cousins? (i.e., do you already know that the women in your family tend to have trouble conceiving, or conversely that their uteri seem to be built to last?)

Meara, I have no answers. It's cool that is now possible with science. I'd be concerned about carrying a baby at an age beyond when I could get preggers without assistance but them I'm also very much MY VAGINA NO BABIES so I may be overly paranoid.

In unrelated news, for anyone not on pinterest this recipe is of the gods delicious (I used real cream cheese, not tofutti for the middle layer, and avocado/cocoa powder/honey/vanilla for the top layer.) The carnivorous pilot asked to take home some it was so good. Even after I told him the primary ingredients ;)

meara, I was 38 when I had Brendon and 40 with Bobby. I think you have time to make the decision. Of course, with consideration to JZ's questions. Although my sister and mother both had hysterectomies at ages younger than I had kids, but I didn't have the endometriosis that they suffered.

So the question is: do I try to freeze my eggs? From everything I've read, it's not that crazy a procedure anymore, but the big thing is, it's hella expensive. While I could afford it, it would put a harsh crimp on my emergency funds. And what if I don't meet anyone? Then have I spent five figures on something I don't need? But if I did meet someone and it was too late, how glad would I be that I had some backup? I...just don't know.

If you think you really might want kids and know you probably will be the one carrying the pregnancy, it's really something to think about and research. Yes, really costly. But I assume that a wanted child is worth a lot too. Consider it insurance on having those options later than you might otherwise.

My mom had me at 31, my sis at 35 and bro at 37. But then she had breast cancer at 40, so who knows. My sister is 31 and was doing a work up (mostly not for her own issues) and was told she has the ovaries of someone in her late 30s. So who knows.

meara, I would start by seeing your doctor and see if they can do some tests to find out how many eggs you currently have (it may be more than you think). They'll be able to give you a better idea of how urgently you should be thinking about freezing eggs. Also, you should look into what is covered by your insurance, because it may be more than you think.

meara, that is a super tough decision, and I don't really have wisdom to offer. I wish you discernment!! I'm watching my own biological clock wind down with a mixture of emotions.

Yup, at 37, mine is just about done, and while we are childless by choice, that decision and its results are still hard ones to deal with at any stage.

However, if I am done with my uterus, I would like it to stop causing me increasingly debilitating pain at increasingly frequent intervals.

if I am done with my uterus, I would like it to stop causing me increasingly debilitating pain at increasingly frequent intervals.

Yeah! "Hey, freeloader! Knock it off!"