Omnis, how horrible and creepy. I have no advice, but the other buffistas are wise and you should listen to them. Tons of ~ma for you and your mother.

No advice to add to all the excellent suggestions you've already gotten; just wanted to add all my ~ma for you and your mother, and to say: You are such a good son and a loving friend to your mom. She brought one very good man into the world. ~Ma and safety and the least possible trauma in getting past this scariness to both of you.

I agree with everything that has been said, omnis. Especially the part about informing your ma of what you know as soon as you can.

Granted, it's upsetting all around, but if you look at it from the perspective of helping, rather than hurting your mother, it might make it easier. Yes, the information is creepy, but as the child of a predator who never really paid for his crimes, I want your mom to be informed in a dispassionate, logical way.

No one wants to know how close they are to the ugly things in this life, and no one wants to know that someone they care about IS an ugly thing, but...and this might seem crazy, but...I view this information the same way I would any other health or safety risk.

If you can take the emotional content out of your side of the conversation, you won't add to what will likely be a rough go for your mom.

I'd also have information ready for her about how to separate/protect oneself from a physical risk. Local women's organizations will have guides for this.

And, may I just say, God bless you for seeking this information, no matter how you felt about doing so.

Thing is, I look at Megan's Law as a good thing and bad thing. It tells you these folks are out there, but doesn't tell circumstances. I can't help but think about "The Scarlet Letter". Were those charges all from one incident? Met a gal at a bar, they both had too much to drink, they go back to his place, they get freaky, she ends up being underage, so it's automatic statutory rape? They throw the book at him??? The fact there are TWO pictures?!?!!! Is one from vagrancy since he is living in his van, but the website only reports the sex crime charges?? Was there conviction? I don't want to jump to conclusions. I don't think it's fair that someone who has been a legal rock/hard place be punished for life. And if he is an ex con, how can he re-assimilate if he is always ostracized?

BUT!!! This is my mom!! And she was a rape victim a long time ago (which I think is the reason she is, as her 2nd hubby said "frigid"). And I think part of her hoarding mentality is because of that incident. Ironically, bf has been helping her with that. And her place has been cleanest since he has been a part of her life.

Add to that, I just gave him $300 to build a corner bench for my kitchen table. I mean, he's my moms bf, he's down on his luck. I am trying to help the guy out, ya know. Like I did at xmas.

I can't imagine being in that position. If he is on the list, how/when do you tell people?? I don't envy that. But. IT'S MY MOTHER!!!!

Ugg. I. ... Ugg.

Background search website customer support responded with this:

Thank you for contacting Customer Care. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience that may have been caused.

Not all individuals have a criminal record. Typically, a Criminal Check is purchased to verify whether or not an individual has a criminal record. There are some instances where you may feel a person has a criminal record, but the public records database confirms there are no criminal offenses. The following explains some instances when an individual would not have an available criminal record from the public records database:
- The person has never been convicted of a crime. An arrest does not create a criminal record. The person must be convicted of a crime to have a criminal record.
- The criminal records have been expunged.
- The criminal records have not yet been updated in the public records database. (Updates can take several months).
- The criminal records have been sealed and are no longer public. (e.g. - Minors criminal offenses are sealed and not a matter of public records).
- The criminal record is in a different state than the state searched upon.
- The criminal offenses are under a different name or date of birth than the one searched upon.
While we are unable to provide any refunds, I would be happy to issue you a credit for a free people search as a courtesy.

So, wait, did you already do the background check and it came up with zip? That seems odd.

If he is on the sex offender registry, he's been convicted. And if that's his name and DOB (i'd look at those before the picture, honestly, just in case), then...yeah.

omnis, no matter what, I think your mom deserves to know there might be more to his background than she realizes. Show what Googling turned up, and let her take it from there.

Agreed. Those 3 offenses -- not 1, THREE -- listed are not just a red flag; they are a fucking California king-sized quilt of HELL NO. They are violent sexual crimes against women.

Once may be an error; 3 times? Not for my money.

I feel badly for you and your mom; I believe in compassion. But in this case, err on the side of caution. If you're wrong about him, you can feel guilty. But I don't think think the information is wrong, and he is not someone you want your mother -- or any woman you care about -- to be involved with.

o-a, take a look at the sections of the CA penal code he was charged with violating. They are NOT statutory rape violations. Force and drugging were involved. And if he's listed in the Megan's Law database, he has been convicted.

Disregard the two mug shots. Even if you rely solely on the Megan's Law DB info, he is a violent offender.

Also, if your community finds out you allow a registered sex offender in your house, it could create trouble. Is it right? No, but unfortunately it will probably happen.

Also, didn't one of the convictions specifically mention that the victim was 14 or 15?