Mal: Does.. um.. does this seem kind of tight? Kaylee: Shows off your backside.

'Shindig'


Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Ginger - Jan 18, 2013 3:41:55 am PST #25163 of 30001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

He's definitely on the official Megan's List: [link] He's listed as "transient," so if he does acquire an address, you need to report it. You probably should tell the police where he is, because they may have outstanding warrants.

I think you have to sit down with your mother and the Megan's List page and talk to her. Thieves change. Even murderers change. Rapists rarely do

Also, you both might want to change your locks before she confronts him.


smonster - Jan 18, 2013 3:51:18 am PST #25164 of 30001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

Oh, DAMN, omnis. Wishing you and your mom clarity and strength and safety.

(also, go team hivemind, as usual)


Calli - Jan 18, 2013 4:23:20 am PST #25165 of 30001
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs

Well that sucks, omnis. I'm glad you checked him out, though.


sumi - Jan 18, 2013 4:29:58 am PST #25166 of 30001
Art Crawl!!!

omnis, that is horrible.

ION, will somebody please make this cake for me? No nuts. Thank you.


Laura - Jan 18, 2013 4:34:37 am PST #25167 of 30001
Our wings are not tired.

shakes wee fist at sumi - now I'm hungry!


sumi - Jan 18, 2013 4:35:50 am PST #25168 of 30001
Art Crawl!!!

Cake for breakfast . . .yum.


sj - Jan 18, 2013 5:18:31 am PST #25169 of 30001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

Omnis, how horrible and creepy. I have no advice, but the other buffistas are wise and you should listen to them. Tons of ~ma for you and your mother.


JZ - Jan 18, 2013 5:47:58 am PST #25170 of 30001
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.

No advice to add to all the excellent suggestions you've already gotten; just wanted to add all my ~ma for you and your mother, and to say: You are such a good son and a loving friend to your mom. She brought one very good man into the world. ~Ma and safety and the least possible trauma in getting past this scariness to both of you.


beekaytee - Jan 18, 2013 5:54:11 am PST #25171 of 30001
Compassionately intolerant

I agree with everything that has been said, omnis. Especially the part about informing your ma of what you know as soon as you can.

Granted, it's upsetting all around, but if you look at it from the perspective of helping, rather than hurting your mother, it might make it easier. Yes, the information is creepy, but as the child of a predator who never really paid for his crimes, I want your mom to be informed in a dispassionate, logical way.

No one wants to know how close they are to the ugly things in this life, and no one wants to know that someone they care about IS an ugly thing, but...and this might seem crazy, but...I view this information the same way I would any other health or safety risk.

If you can take the emotional content out of your side of the conversation, you won't add to what will likely be a rough go for your mom.

I'd also have information ready for her about how to separate/protect oneself from a physical risk. Local women's organizations will have guides for this.

And, may I just say, God bless you for seeking this information, no matter how you felt about doing so.


omnis_audis - Jan 18, 2013 7:27:32 am PST #25172 of 30001
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir

Thing is, I look at Megan's Law as a good thing and bad thing. It tells you these folks are out there, but doesn't tell circumstances. I can't help but think about "The Scarlet Letter". Were those charges all from one incident? Met a gal at a bar, they both had too much to drink, they go back to his place, they get freaky, she ends up being underage, so it's automatic statutory rape? They throw the book at him??? The fact there are TWO pictures?!?!!! Is one from vagrancy since he is living in his van, but the website only reports the sex crime charges?? Was there conviction? I don't want to jump to conclusions. I don't think it's fair that someone who has been a legal rock/hard place be punished for life. And if he is an ex con, how can he re-assimilate if he is always ostracized?

BUT!!! This is my mom!! And she was a rape victim a long time ago (which I think is the reason she is, as her 2nd hubby said "frigid"). And I think part of her hoarding mentality is because of that incident. Ironically, bf has been helping her with that. And her place has been cleanest since he has been a part of her life.

Add to that, I just gave him $300 to build a corner bench for my kitchen table. I mean, he's my moms bf, he's down on his luck. I am trying to help the guy out, ya know. Like I did at xmas.

I can't imagine being in that position. If he is on the list, how/when do you tell people?? I don't envy that. But. IT'S MY MOTHER!!!!

Ugg. I. ... Ugg.