Holy hell. That's a profoundly disturbing discovery. One piece of advice I remember from the advice columns: if your mother learns of these charges and wants to hear his account, she can and possibly should check with the prosecutor in his case to verify. (Given the severity of the charge, this isn't the sort of thing to take on trust.)

My realisation of the day: when I was Ryan's age, I already had three brothers - two of them younger than me.

God, Omnis!

Have you met him? Are the mugshots really him?

Based on the records, it's not some "Oh, I was 21, and dated a 16 year old and her parents pressed charges" thing. It's rape. 3 times.

I'd get my ducks in a row, as per the excellent advice above, and gently confront my mom.

She may come back with "He's always been nice to me!" to which you can respond "Does that make it OK that he drugged,abused and violated other women?"

Or "He's reformed/he was set up!" and then you can present the background info you've dug up.

Make it clear you weren't digging for dirt, you stumbled across it,couldn't believe it, and wanted to disprove it -- but couldn't.

And for fuck's sake, if she wants to confront him with this, have her do it in a public place, NOT at his or her home. Preferably with a third-party lurking nearby.

Personally, were this my mom or my sister, I would also report the relationship and hopefully the break-up to the local PD's Sex Crimes division to have it on record, have her change her locks, and sign her up for a self-defense course.

Is Mace or a taser legal for private citizens in Cali?

I don't mean to make you fearful, but having worked in 3 domestic violence shelters and volunteered in a sexual assault org, I believe in documentation, reporting and safety awareness.

I am SO sorry this is happening to your mom, Omnis, and I wish you and her as peaceful a resolution to this problem as possible.

What the smart lady said. This isn't minor stuff. Yes, Strix, I believe omnis has had the boyfriend in his home several times. God, omnis, not fun task facing you.

In your home... OK.

Yep, my Celtic blood is all HULK SMASH.

Investigate, get your info lined up and tell your mom. ASAP.

It's far better she be angry with you (perhaps) and sad than with this person.

He's definitely on the official Megan's List: [link] He's listed as "transient," so if he does acquire an address, you need to report it. You probably should tell the police where he is, because they may have outstanding warrants.

I think you have to sit down with your mother and the Megan's List page and talk to her. Thieves change. Even murderers change. Rapists rarely do

Also, you both might want to change your locks before she confronts him.

Oh, DAMN, omnis. Wishing you and your mom clarity and strength and safety.

(also, go team hivemind, as usual)

Well that sucks, omnis. I'm glad you checked him out, though.

omnis, that is horrible.

ION, will somebody please make this cake for me? No nuts. Thank you.

shakes wee fist at sumi - now I'm hungry!