omnis,
how long has she been dating him? If it has been longer than say 6 months, this is what I'd do: a) get as much information about him that you can safely to run a background check. Typical background checks with criminal history is about $10-15.
b) get the check done, with this google search and present it to your mother ASAP.
if your mother has been dating him for a short time, then I would consider the situation a bit more urgent - with the assumption that your mother's safety has been okay up to this point, so another 24-48 hours won't hurt.
They've known each other for about a year. Not sure when they started "dating". Where does one do a background check?
ussearch dot com says he has no records in the 47 or so states they have access to. But from what I read of the articles you also linked, it's pretty dubious this is a real search anyhow.
you can also go to the state corrections db itself. some states have it by county.
Yikes, o-a. When I get to the office this morning I'll ask my friend where she gets her background checks done since she does them all the time. I'm sorry you are put in this position.
Holy hell. That's a profoundly disturbing discovery. One piece of advice I remember from the advice columns: if your mother learns of these charges and wants to hear his account, she can and possibly should check with the prosecutor in his case to verify. (Given the severity of the charge, this isn't the sort of thing to take on trust.)
My realisation of the day: when I was Ryan's age, I already had three brothers - two of them younger than me.
God, Omnis!
Have you met him? Are the mugshots really him?
Based on the records, it's not some "Oh, I was 21, and dated a 16 year old and her parents pressed charges" thing. It's rape. 3 times.
I'd get my ducks in a row, as per the excellent advice above, and gently confront my mom.
She may come back with "He's always been nice to me!" to which you can respond "Does that make it OK that he drugged,abused and violated other women?"
Or "He's reformed/he was set up!" and then you can present the background info you've dug up.
Make it clear you weren't digging for dirt, you stumbled across it,couldn't believe it, and wanted to disprove it -- but couldn't.
And for fuck's sake, if she wants to confront him with this, have her do it in a public place, NOT at his or her home. Preferably with a third-party lurking nearby.
Personally, were this my mom or my sister, I would also report the relationship and hopefully the break-up to the local PD's Sex Crimes division to have it on record, have her change her locks, and sign her up for a self-defense course.
Is Mace or a taser legal for private citizens in Cali?
I don't mean to make you fearful, but having worked in 3 domestic violence shelters and volunteered in a sexual assault org, I believe in documentation, reporting and safety awareness.
I am SO sorry this is happening to your mom, Omnis, and I wish you and her as peaceful a resolution to this problem as possible.
What the smart lady said. This isn't minor stuff. Yes, Strix, I believe omnis has had the boyfriend in his home several times. God, omnis, not fun task facing you.
