Egads, Strix, you don't do anything by halves, do you? As a note, I got my flu shot this year and I've still come down with an ick. Probably not as bad as it could be, but they can't formulate the flu vaccine to cover every single variety out there. It seems like half our division is out with a mild form right now that seems to be a sniffly, sneezy, muscle-achey version. I know I feel like a limp noddle and even going in for four hours last night ran me out of spoons and my voice. I'm home on the couch, again, monitoring my e-mail in case a fire only I can put out comes along.

I have been stirring a spoon of almond butter into my oatmeal. Makes it all flavory and feels dense.

Ooh, that sounds awesome!

It won't have fully kicked in yet but I got my flu shot on Monday. I wish I'd done it months ago.

I know -- I got mine Friday, and I keep muttering "2 weeks! 2 weeks!" And I nagged Tim enough that he got one yesterday.

Now I have to see if my diabetic heart disease-having father got one (as of last week, he had not, despite the fact that he works as a bagger at Kroger, a job that assails him with germs [I'm actually surprised he hasn't gotten sick yet]). And he told me that they were giving employees flu shots for free, and yet he didn't get one. (He claims they ran out.)

My mom, queen of paranoia, got one back in November. She has not gotten the flu.

As for her weird liver thing, she wanted to get the CT scan yesterday, but the doctor's office* didn't fax the order to the hospital, and the doctor wasn't in yesterday, so apparently no one had the authority to fax it. (That doesn't sound right, but I am only relaying what she told me.) She's hoping she can get the scan today.

*(She and I have the same primary care doctor -- Awesome Doctor, of the Worst Staff EVER. Like the moron who tried to call in a refill for a blood pressure drug I've NEVER TAKEN [atenolol] when I needed a refill of albuterol, for asthma. Like she heard the first and last letters of the drug and guessed, or something. So the fact that Mom's CT scan order didn't get faxed does not surprise me one bit. And she ripped them a new one about it, too. That is one woman you do NOT want mad at you.)

I asked about flu shots when I was at my pharmacist this week, but they didn't have any left and I have not been busting my ass to get another one. I don't like the look of the transdermal thing that smonster got at a different pharmacy! Her injection site was all red and swollen and hot to the touch. If I haven't gotten one by the time I go to my doctors in a couple weeks, I will get one then.

Maria, what everyone else said above. We would never think less of you here, especially for being true to yourself in your grief. We're honored that this is the place where you feel comfortable doing so. Much love to you.

Strix! Goodness gracious, woman! Glad you made it through! Mostly. You're almost there. I think you've definitely filled your illness quota for 2013. So good on ya for getting that out of the way.

Much ma ~ma, Daniel.

And ~ma to bonny and sj and all around, I'm sure I've missed something. I've been sick myself, with a mild version of the flu (I had my shot back in Nov.) or a monster cold, complete with coughing for a week and general exhaustion. Go flu shots, choose flu shots!

My clinic ran out of injectables, but they do have Flumist. I have an appointment for mine today. I suspect I may be getting paid back for laughing at my cats when they got their FIV vaccines (I think that is the one, dropped into their noses).

I have been stirring a spoon of almond butter into my oatmeal. Makes it all flavory and feels dense.

I do the same thing, but with peanut butter. It almost tastes like a peanut butter cookie in a bowl then.

It's good to see your pixels, Strix! I hope you feel better soon.

Huh. All I had to do was post about my mom's CT scan, and she e-mailed me to tell me it's scheduled for 2:00 today.

I wonder what else I can will into being.

There is no chocolate on my desk. None! Travesty!

t waiting for chocolate...

I haven't gotten a flu shot but I think I'll be okay. I'm not in a high risk group...no kids, no office, rarely outside these days, etc.

I'm off to the podiatrist in a half hour. Please, PTB, let him have the answer that will safely, cheaply and non-invasively cure my condition so it never comes back again!

Strix, darlin', I'm glad to see you back in the swing...if not actually swinging. A friend had the flu/pinkeye combo and was just miserable. I'm so sorry you had to go through that! Job, indeed. May your 2013 be all owls and gentle experiences from here.

sj, everyone else has said what I would have, so I won't go too deeply into it. You have plenty to deal with in your life and, if I know anything about people who need the sorts of things your friend needs, I'm pretty sure she would find someone else to meet those needs if you decide to let her go. Nature really does abhor a vacuum.

Maria, I can relate to hoping people will not see you differently when you share your darkest...but the people who fall away, do so for a reason. The folks here...well, I'm just grateful that you have this community.

Plus, I am TOTALLY on board with Steph's interpretation of Katie's missive. Could not agree more. Nailed it in one. That, of course, won't necessarily make it feel better to you, I know.

A couple of years ago, a 'pillar' of my community died in a weird way, leaving behind 5 boys under the age of 12 and his entrepreneur wife. Sure, he was a fun guy in public. Big social driver, had kids hanging off him all the time (literally, the last time I saw him, he had 3 kids dangling from his neck and shoulders), and seemed totally affable. Turns out, he was a real prick to his family, and ruthless in his business dealings (in a bad way) but you'd never hear a bad word about him.

His poor wife, who is extremely hard working (carried him, MAJOR) and not particularly likeable, finally popped a bit more than a year after he died and began telling the truth of his behavior. Lots of people talked behind their hands, but I really respected her for taking care of herself. It must have KILLED her to have to listen to his deification over and over again.

I hope you find whatever peace is available to your heart, whenever it will come. In the meanwhile, at least take your ease here.

Intellectually, I know that her post is more about her than him, but on every other level, I am all Hulk smash about it. People were drawn to Rob, even if they didn't really want to be. It couldn't be helped. And he sometimes used that to his advantage.

Ugh. I want all of this over and done with. I'm tired of expending so much mental and emotional energy just to tread water.

Thanks, all. I can't tell you how much it means.

Strix, I hope you feel better soon.