I was in and out in 15 minutes today in MD. Nine am. Was prepared for a much longer wait.

I'm certain it's only the tiniest fraction of your situation but I know how much it can hurt when it seems other people are getting something you also so desperately want to have and enjoy for yourself while still being happy for them. It must be really difficult when it's people having babies when you want (and would be so wonderful with) children.

I've been struggling with this over a number of different major life events. I get angry over birthdays (because mine will be forever tainted), wedding anniversaries (because I won't have any more at this point), and pregnancies/births (because it will probably never happen for me now.)

I want to be a mother very much, but in the right circumstances. I can't see myself as a single mom, and I certainly can't see getting involved with someone just to have a baby. My prospects are dimming by the day. Early menopause runs in my family. It breaks my heart in so many different ways. And it's making me bitter.

{{{{{Maria}}}}} I'm so sorry.

{{{Maria}}}

I've been crazy busy at work and haven't been able to keep up with Bitches or Natter for weeks, but I miss you guys.

Thanks, sj and P-C. I really try to be grateful for what I do have, but there are certain things that make me petty still. I'm trying to change it, but you can see how successful I am with that.

Maria, love, I don't think those feelings are petty at all.

Maria, what Strix said.

I'm sorry, Maria, that's so painful.

If it's okay, I'm still going to hold out hope that you become a parent because I think you'd be so very good at it. I think you have a lot of love that you could lavish on a child.

I'm sorry, Maria. I agree with Strix, your feelings aren't petty.

Oh Maria, your feelings are your feelings and they are real. And they aren't petty, but I do know that those feelings can make you feel that way. Any way you can find to lighten your burden is a good thing.

(((Maria))