I have this TERRIBLE hangnail.

As you might have guessed, this is a family response to many kinds of drama.

sj, we'll be in MA Wednesday night through Sunday afternoon, but we're actually just going to be in Western Mass. We were thinking we might be able to swing a day trip to Boston, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to happen. We've only got a few days, and lots of people in the Northampton area to see, and traveling is more exhausting for me these days than usual.

Kate, if you have any free time while you're in Western MA, we might be able to come to you. Western MA is much easier for us than driving into Boston (which I not so secretly despise doing). So, let me know, but absolutely no pressure.

It's a way of saying you're respectful of the pain of other people.

I guess this is the way I often see the FPC. I often talk myself out of posting because my problem feels trivial to others. So by throwing the FPC in there, or words to that effect, I feel like I'm acknowledging that. But yeah, no one should have to apologize for posting.

Jilli you have a flair for the dramatic, but that's not the same thing as being a drama queen.

sj, it would be great to see you, but I think we're probably overbooked as it is, between my family, my friends in Northampton/Easthampton, M's friends in North Adams/Vermont, a few friends from Boston who are planning to come out on Saturday, and M's adviser from his postdoc at Amherst. I hate to turn down the chance to see you! But it's just going to be too crazy as it is.

I SO wish we were staying longer -- I know it's going to be really hard for me to leave on Sunday. Last time we were in Western Mass, between Christmas & New Year's, I almost had a breakdown in the airport as we were flying out. I miss it so much.

Kate, no worries. I completely understand; I just wanted to offer. I know how crazy trips can be when you have to fit in family and friends. If you visit again for a longer trip, you know where to find me.

As Kate said (more or less) I'm not in charge of how people feel, but and if it helps you post that's a good thing.

But the flip side is it makes the case that your problems really are too small, that on their own they're secondary and not worth sympathy. So, by extension maybe mine aren't either? It's insidious. (And for women, a message we get in far too many places as it is.)

(Universal "your", of course.) I don't know how to reconcile those things.

Anyway. I'm (genuinely) sorry I'm so worked up about this and hope it doesn't make anyone's toes feel stepped on. But I'm realizing more how bothered I am. We're invoking the FPC when talking about family members with cancer FFS.

I find it so contrary to the what the spirit of this place, this thread especially, have been over the years. That's probably why I'm reacting so strongly.

[I shut up now.]

I will definitely let you know whenever we have a little extra time!

I love brenda so much right now. Somebody make her veep of something, quick.