It's a way of saying you're respectful of the pain of other people.

I guess this is the way I often see the FPC. I often talk myself out of posting because my problem feels trivial to others. So by throwing the FPC in there, or words to that effect, I feel like I'm acknowledging that. But yeah, no one should have to apologize for posting.

Jilli you have a flair for the dramatic, but that's not the same thing as being a drama queen.

sj, it would be great to see you, but I think we're probably overbooked as it is, between my family, my friends in Northampton/Easthampton, M's friends in North Adams/Vermont, a few friends from Boston who are planning to come out on Saturday, and M's adviser from his postdoc at Amherst. I hate to turn down the chance to see you! But it's just going to be too crazy as it is.

I SO wish we were staying longer -- I know it's going to be really hard for me to leave on Sunday. Last time we were in Western Mass, between Christmas & New Year's, I almost had a breakdown in the airport as we were flying out. I miss it so much.

Kate, no worries. I completely understand; I just wanted to offer. I know how crazy trips can be when you have to fit in family and friends. If you visit again for a longer trip, you know where to find me.

As Kate said (more or less) I'm not in charge of how people feel, but and if it helps you post that's a good thing.

But the flip side is it makes the case that your problems really are too small, that on their own they're secondary and not worth sympathy. So, by extension maybe mine aren't either? It's insidious. (And for women, a message we get in far too many places as it is.)

(Universal "your", of course.) I don't know how to reconcile those things.

Anyway. I'm (genuinely) sorry I'm so worked up about this and hope it doesn't make anyone's toes feel stepped on. But I'm realizing more how bothered I am. We're invoking the FPC when talking about family members with cancer FFS.

I find it so contrary to the what the spirit of this place, this thread especially, have been over the years. That's probably why I'm reacting so strongly.

[I shut up now.]

I will definitely let you know whenever we have a little extra time!

I love brenda so much right now. Somebody make her veep of something, quick.

DONE.

Yeah, but when people are posting about potential death and major pain and suffering and true financial crisis I feel like I need to acknowledge that somehow if I'm going to post about a nose bleed. If it were not for being able to invoke the FPC I'd feel completely insensitive for bitching about anything not on that scale. The FPC to me is not an apology. It is a way to acknowledge I'm posting about a problem on a smaller scale than other problems discussed here. By invoking FPC, I'm avoiding the need to apologize. And if you are in better mental health in that area than I am and don't need to invoke the FPC clause go you! But it is really helpful to me.

By invoking FPC, I'm avoiding the need to apologize. And if you are in better mental health in that area than I am and don't need to invoke the FPC clause go you! But it is really helpful to me.

That's kinda how I am right now. I am also waiting for this current swing of depression to get to the part where I have the invincible exoskeleton and I can go touch a Jillifont, but I don't know it that will happen.

(To be PERFECTLY CLEAR, I don't have any urge to go touch a Jillifont. Ever. Invincible emotional exoskeleton or no.)